Sunday, September 4, 2016

6 Unformed Biomasses

6 Unformed Biomasses

1. piglike suckling things with a dozen three-toed stumpy legs and without eyes, they are guided by smell, constantly snuffling and leaving a trail of snot behind them as they gnaw and shit dirt and rock in search of their favorite beetles; they are immune to all poisonous arthropods.

2. armless monkey-faced bear-things scrabble sideways in sand, fused paw-tail useful only for digging nests leeward in dunes; their mouths are filled with rows of nubbed teeth continuously ground down by gnawing on mollusk shells. They cannot stand the smell of their kind's blood.

3. Ball of human fingers massed around a five-eyed, two-mouthed kewpi-like face undulates with cilia-like grace across the forest floor, one mouth whistling a jaunty sea shanty while the other mouth savors what the fingers provide; it can whistle any song it absorbs from brains it tastes.

4. featherless venom-toothed limp-winged goosething drops from trees on wagon trains in search of cats and newborn babes; it swallows them in one liquid movement, carrying the carcass in a gullet pouch until dissolved and vomiting the bones bleached yellow-black; they lap milk from sleeping wet nurses and when killed their gizzard stones burn to the touch for untold years.

5. fist-sized lumps of pale lizard-like flesh cling inside cave walls, avoid direct light, shuffle in the sun's shadow as one rheumy eye blinks hydrochloric tears; if soaked in milk, they shriek and shrivel and the eyes split and reticulate into a jellied mass that, fried in bear fat, tastes of truffles and ambergris.

6. nine-pawed goat-horned mush-faced mandibled ant-thing mews piteously when startled and shows no fear of predators; a supreme tracker, its teats leak pleasant-tasting numbing aphrodisiac fluorocarbons that impart branching visions of moments yet to come. Impervious to flame, they melt when dead into pools of tasteless tar.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Bookface Lives! Inspirational Reading for the Inner Gamemaster

Bookface has been quiet for a very long time. But he now emerges to recommend some inspirational reading. . .



The best sourcebook on gnomes money can buy. Get it here. 



Shrooms are funny until your gnome eats one and dies. Get it here.



All you really need to know about fantasy tropes, circa 1967. Get it here.



All you really need to know about fantasy tropes, circa 2006. Get it here.



Space & shit, circa 1986. Get it here.



Space & shit, circa 1998. Get it here.



Your hedge witch's big book o' cures & cantrips. Get it here.



Pliny the Elder's first edition Monster Manual, by way of the Middle Ages. Get it here.



A contemporary cryptid collection, organized by continent. Best monster? Troll Monkey. TROLL. MONKEY. Get it here

This book is actually pretty cool, but it came out a few years after DiTerlizzi's Spiderwick Chronicle tie-in field guide (which I also recommend but is not in my office at the moment). The author blogged about his struggles with the publisher in getting this published over here back in 2013.



The only gazetteer you really need. Get it here.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Slapdash Crude Experiment

click to embiggen

I made this fooling around with draw.io, an online flowchart/org-chart maker. It's a clunky interface (LibreOffice is better), but it hooks into Google Docs & Google Drive for auto-backups. However, it's impossible to export individual elements out -- you can copy & paste in, but not copy & paste out into an ODT or Word file. Ultimately this has limited usability for me, but it was fun to play around with.