Thursday, December 10, 2015

Blog Clean Up

Things have been quiet on the creative front the past month or so. I am in "hunker down & grade" mode at the moment, but I was sitting in an exam this afternoon and decided to do a bit of maintenance on the ol' blog.

First, I removed the "Google FriendConnect" widget, as Google discontinued it back in 2011 and was all but abandoned in 2012 -- and almost everyone who was signed up on the Friend Connect thing is also in my circles on Google+, so it seemed a bit superfluous. In fact, once I removed it, I couldn't even figure out how to get it back if I wanted to, so that's that.

I also dropped the "Join Dropbox" widget and the link to the Expanded Petty Gods project in the sidebar. I also dropped the stylized OSR image. The blog looks cleaner without them.

I notice that the huge swarm of tags at the bottom of the blog is hideous and needs to be pruned to something more manageable. I need to devise an easy tagging system and stick to it, so I will be updating tags on past posts accordingly.

I'm probably also going to switch the blog theme as some point soon -- this blah-beigey-tan look is getting to me.

That's about it for now.


Friday, November 6, 2015

Ghostbusters RPG - Legit Downloads & GBFans Scanned Modules + Sniderman's Fan Modules

So I'm on a Ghostbusters kick right now.

First, you can find scanned PDF copies of the original West End Games Ghostbusters RPG here:

Modules for the first edition of the game AND a shitty scan of the second edition of the game (called Ghostbusters International) along with some more supplements can be found here:

For alternate scans of the above rulebooks here, along with better scans of the Ghost Toasties and Hot Rods of the Gods modules, check out this link:

Also, you can buy Ghost dice and some more GBRPG goodies here:

Second, there are some online-only galleries of additional scenarios here:

Ghosbusters RPG Module

Ghostbusters International Modules

The interface for viewing these online galleries is kinda clunky. So I sucked down every single image and combined them into PDFs, which you can find here in my Google Drive folder:

Ghostbusters Fans Module Scans

Every page is watermarked with the Ghostbusters Fans logo, but they are still readable and useable.

Finally, Tim Snider (aka Sniderman) has made three of his fan modules available. These links are to Tim's Savage Afterworld blog posts:

How Dry I Am & Shadows over Yonkers
Ragnarok-A-Bye Baby

A rules summary and a few more fan-made modules for you:

Forever Halloween, by Jason J. Patterson, adapted from the Real Ghostbuster's cartoon episode "When Halloween Was Forever" by Michael J. Straczynski

The Collect Call of Cathulhu, by
The Pizza Problem, by Rik Kershaw-Moore
The Ooze Brothers, by Chris Hodgson

Kristine Chester's Ghostbusters Resource Page has some excellent pre-gens, equipment cards, and a quick character creation summary

Ghostbuster Sheets from

Ghostbusters RPG House Rules by torturedartist745

Cyborg Cow Adventures by Lester Smith:
Attack of the Ice-Age Cyborg Kamikaze Holsteins
Apocalypse Cow (or Close Encownters of the Third Kine)

Ghoulblasters rules-lite "fan re-statement" by Jason J. Patterson

Here's a GURPS 4th edition fan conversion
Here's a d20 fan conversion by Michael Tresca
Here's a Savage Worlds fan conversion, by Greywolf

And another fan module/game genre mashup: Advanced Ghostbusters: The Blue Blazes, by Michael C. Miller. This combines Ghostbusters with Buckaroo Banzai!

I found scans of an article from Gateways Magazine #5 called "Ghostbusters Approved," which was written by Richard Tucholka, the author of the Bureau 13 RPG. I pdferized them and placed them in the Fan Modules folder on Google Drive.

The article references a random haunts generator from a Bureau 13 adventure, and I managed to grab scans of that article from the same source as above. So that's in the folder, too.

Found another resources for you!

Here's an employment Questionnaire for Starting Ghostbusters!

Sunday, October 18, 2015


In my previous post (a review of Tales from the Tavern #1), I mentioned the game Ghoulash.

Ghoulash is an old solitaire pen & pencil game from the 1980s, originally sold in pads. The creator and his son have tried to re-invent it as a card game, but the Kickstarter failed miserably. So it looks like they're re-designing the classic game instead, which strikes me as a smarter way to go.

There used to be a lot of free scenarios on the old Ghoulash site. I trolled the Internet Archive and was able to retrieve a lot of the PDFs. I'm missing Scenario 13, Scenario 14, Webpack 2, Webpack 3, Webpack 4, and Webpack 5, but otherwise I think I've collected all the freebies here. I've renamed the non-scenario files by prefixing a release date to their name.

Friday, October 16, 2015

A Bookface October Special

Well look what came in yesterday's mail! Why, it's Tales from the Game Tavern #1, a new zine from +Grand DM over at the Ultanya blog! You can buy it direct from the blog or as part of the October 2015 Mythoard box.

So what do you get for your $5?

First up is "Flesh Golem Redux," an article explaining how +Grand DM mixes up the brides of Frankenstein for his game. This is an essay, not monster descriptions with stat blocks, but it makes for an interesting read on how to spice up and extend standard Monster Manual creatures. It would have been nice to include a quick old-school flavored-stat block and description for each of the brides for quick reference, but there is still plenty of ideas to steal from here.

Next up is "Haunted Armor," four quick write-ups of armor that is "tormented by the spirits of their prior owners." Great ideas here and each of the items is briefly described and includes a note on game use. What I like about each of the armor pieces is that while they offer special abilities, they each have a drawback of some kind that saps the users. Magic use should have physical/mental/emotional cost, and these items fill that expectation nicely.

The third article is a quick 1d4 table of ghosts to haunt a tavern ("Tavern Ghosts"), each with a personal story attached to them that read like local legends tavern patrons would tall among themselves. These are great to add flavor to a tavern encounter and they are generic enough (no specific names of towns or taverns) that they could be plopped into any campaign. This is the first table of this kind I've seen among all the tavern generators out there -- name generators, menu generators, hell, even random tavern patron generators -- and while some DMs might not see the need for this kind of flavor & fluff, I like it.

The next article is my favorite one of the issue: a low-level adventure, "Grody the Ghoul," a family-friendly affair that would serve as a good introduction to the game for you non-gamer friends or young kids. Comprised of both an encounter map & key and a larger wilderness hex map, the adventure lends itself to both dungeon exploration and sandbox play. The keyed encounter is a fairly linear adventure (all the rooms are lined up in a row, and must be explored in order), but the sandbox elements allow the DM to adapt the game to more exploratory play. The maps are great, and the local encounter map even includes a few clever random tables to spice up the encounter. I could very easily see myself running this as a one-shot beer & pretzels game.

The adventure is followed by a series of random tables under the title "Alien Abduction" which mixes & mashes-up various horror tropes to create rumors of weird occurrences or adventure seeds for designing your own adventures. There's definitely a Call of Cthulhu feel to the tables,  but most of the generated plot seeds are weird enough for any campaign. I just rolled "Diminutive fleshy insects with powerful psionic aptitude which are nearly impossible to detect use a strange book to open a one way portal to an alien world and pull in the target; the aliens curiously wish to sample what flesh may be like from another world. Targets who survive have a metal carbuncle under the skins which shifts around to avoid being touched or restrained. An odd blue glow emanates from it." Yeah, I could do something with that!

The second-to-last article is "Malignant Scourge," which details a cross-planes, Black Plague-like infectious disease. +Grand DM suggests using the disease in a Zombie Apocalypse-type situation and suggests various ways to incorporate the plague into play. However, his more mundane, non-monster ideas are even better, and are definitely worth a read.

Finally, the last article, "Game Tavern Goulash" is an actual recipe. Yes, a recipe. When was the last time you saw a recipe in a game zine? I'm surprised that +Tim Shorts hasn't had The Happy Whisk whip up a recipe for The Manor (or maybe he did and I just missed that issue?).  Of course, +Grand DM makes a terrible pun in the first line of the article which immediately made me think of this:

which is a solo dungeon game you can find here (and which you should definitely check out, too!). But that's just me. Still, the recipe is NOT a game nor is it a joke -- my mom used to make something similar back in the '70s when we were short on cash. It's comfort food, for sure, and damn if +Grand DM didn't trigger two happy memories for me when I read this last little article.

Final verdict? This is a great first issue, and while there's room for a bit of improvement in some of the articles, overall this is a solid foundation to build on.

Full disclosure: +Grand DM provided me a complimentary issue of the zine for review. Want me to review your zine? Hit me up for my address at mwschmeer (at) gmail dot com.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Hex Extrapolation Matrix Quick Hack

Nate McD posted a cool Hex Extrapolation Matrix template about a month ago that makes for a great die drop table template, so I put it to work in that capacity:

Here's the PDF: Hex Extrapolation Matrix Quick Hack

Story Cubes Die Drop Table

I made this today. Grab a handful of story cubes and drop away:

Grab the PDF here: Story Cubes Die Drop Table

Friday, September 25, 2015

Magic Crown Die Drop Table

I've been in a bit of a creative wasteland the past two months. But then I ran across a scan of the Heraldischer Atlas by Hugo Gerhard Ströhl from 1899 and this image whet my whistle:

not the table; hit the link below for the PDF

Anyway, you can download the PDF of 15 magical crowns here.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Dead Island Hexmap

I posted this over on G+, but I also want to post it here for quick reference:

I can't remember where I saw it, but someone posted a hexmap of a dead island which sort of looked like something from the original 8-bit Legend of Zelda. 

Last night I tried looking for it but couldn't find it. So I made my own. The hexes are 92 x 86 in Hexographer -- I wanted 1-mile hexes so this looks right to me.

Hex 02.08 is a VERY deep lagoon behind a coral reef.

Hex 06.07 contains ruins; the sea is encroaching and has turned the earth to bog.

Hex 08.02 contains some kind of monolith looking out over the sea.

The rest you can figure out on your own.

Feel free to fill the hexes in the comments, even expanding what I commented on above.

Maybe this can be something for #GorgonQuarterly  eh +The Real-ish Greg Gorgonmilk ?

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Faustus Wizbobeard IV

My new B/X PC is a Wizard Monkey:

photo illustration by +The Real-ish Greg Gorgonmilk

Faustus Wizbobeard IV

HP: 3
AC: 8
XP: 0

STR: 12
INT: 15 (+1)
WIS: 6 (-1)
DEX: 14 (+1)
CON: 8 (-1)

Death Ray or Poison: 13
Magical Wands: 15
Paralysis or Turn to Stone: 14
Dragon Breath:16
Rods, Staves, or Spells: 16

Languages: Common, Alignment, Gargoyle

Sharpened leopard femur (treat as normal dagger)
4 Torches
6 bunches wild grapes
10' feet fresh, leafy vine
Waterskin filled with urine
Bag of day-old feces
9 gp

Spells: Level 1: [Shield]

Special: Once per day can cast an Invincible Stare, which acts as a Hold spell on all targets in a 10 foot radius (Save vs. Spells) and renders the caster invisible while in effect.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Zero-Level Pre-gens & Con Game House Rules

I ran a low-magic Swords & Wizardry Whitebox-inspired Zero-level funnel at KantCon on July 24th. We didn't finish it in the 4-hour slot I was allotted, but a few players loved it so much that I ended up running the rest of the scenario the same evening when another game was cancelled.

Here are the Con Game Rules I used for the funnel, along with a file of 72 Zero-level pre-gens.

DCC RPG Magic Ring Die Drop Table

(NOTE: I updated the PDF to correct a saving throw error. Please re-download it to replace the incorrect version.)

By special request of +Roy Snyder !

this is just a crappy screen shot —grab the PDF below

Grab the PDF here.

Also note: I originally cross-posted this to the DCCRPG G+ group moderated by +Claytonian JP, but after consulting with him, I deleted the post when it was pointed out that it didn't meet the community's posting requirements. This is the second post of mine that has drawn the moderator's ire. I've had enough arguing with mods of G+ communities for the year, so out of respect to the mod & that particular G+ group, I'll refrain from posting there any more because my stuff isn't DCC-only.

But feel free to use my stuff in DCC games!

Friday, July 31, 2015

Three Clerical Items of Renown

Back in February 2014, I posted three clerical items for Erik Tenkar's OSR Superstar Competition.

I'm slowly going through my "projects to complete" folder and thought this would be an easy one to knock off the list.

You can grab the PDF here.

Unique Magic Gem Die Drop Table

Here's another die drop table for you:

this is just a lo-rez screenshot

Grab the PDF here.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Potion Pill Die Drop Table

Who says potions have to come in liquid form? Here's a Potion Pill Die Drop Table featuring unique effects:

this is a low-quality screen shot -- grab the PDF below

Grab the PDF here.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Skipping Stones: A Role-Playing Poem

So I made this thing. It's a story game. Or something.

Check it out here on Google Docs (I've turned on commenting):

Monday, July 6, 2015

Wasteland Emporium & Wonderama Die Drop Table

Per request of +Ray Otus:

This is a crappy screenshot -- gran the PDF below

Grab the PDF here!

Miracles of the Gnome Workshop Die Drop Table

Per the request of +Kevin Searle:

click to embiggen!

Grab the PDF here. Quite frankly, though, the above JPG might print better, as the PDF looks kind of grainy on my machine. I still have to give it a test print, though, so the PDF might be fine.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

What's In the Room? Die Drop Table

Add this to the list of die drop tables I've churned out recently:

this is a lousy screenshot -- grab the PDF below

Grab the PDF here.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Another Update to Receding Goblins & Gremlins

I've updated my gonzo sandbox thingy, correcting lots of typos and spelling errors and changing the use license. I hadn't properly implemented the OGL in the document and therefore I hadn't actually made the material available as Open Game Content. Since I have issues with the OGL (documented elsewhere on this blog), I was actually kind of glad to correct that oversight, too.

I decided to re-release this and make the text available under a CC-BY-NC 4.0 International License.

So, here it is. Have at it!

see below for PDF

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Teleportation Gone Awry Die Drop Table!

I'm at it again:

See below for PDF

Here's the PDF.

d30 Challenge: Entry 30

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

30. An ogre (his name is Dwarm) is trying to milk three flail snails and failing miserably. He will explain that a powerful alchemist has tasked him with collecting sixteen barrels of flail snail mucus and the ogre can't figure out how to do it.

The flail snails need to be highly agitated in order to produce mucus. HIGHLY agitated.

The alchemist needs the mucus as a component for an anti-aging formula.

If the PCs decide to help and accidentally kill one or more flail snails, the ogre will get upset and attack.

If the PCs successfully help the ogre, he'll be so impressed he'll ask them to help collect 150 giant cockroach carapaces from a nearby insect nest, too.

The ogre will pay the party 7d30 x 10sp for their help.

If the ogre is killed, they'll find directions to the alchemist's shop in his pack (which contains nothing else of value). The alchemist will pay the PCs 400gp for the mucus and 250gp for the carapaces.

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

WILD #4. There is a 75% chance that three rounds into any combat during the encounter, the foes/NPCs will surrender, even if they are winning, and ask to finish the fight at a later time because they just can't even.

Monday, June 29, 2015

The Terrifying Hedgebard: A Weird NPC for Your Gonzo Game

Ok, not a die drop table, but I'm still messing around with old comics:

See below for PDF

You can find the PDF here.

d30 Challenge: Entry 29

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

29. A troop of 3d20 flying monkeys wearing red bell boy outfits take a smoke break from their union meeting (Flying Lackeys Local 316) and pick nits. They all smoke unfiltered cigarettes: Lucky Strike, Pall Mall, Camel, etc. Two of the monkeys have Zippo® lighters and one of them has a box of 500 kitchen matches. Some of the monkeys are chain smokers. The union boss is a hefty, older, greying monkey named Larry Justlarry. All of the monkeys are employed in the tri-realm area and are meeting to hammer out the specifics of current contract negotiations with the Association of Quasi United Wizards, Witches, & Alchemists.

Each monkey is armed with 2d6 throwing darts and a spear.

There is a 50% chance that one of the monkeys isn't a flying monkey at all but a disguised chaotic dwarf assassin hired by the AQUWWA to eliminate Larry Justlarry and derail the negotiations. If the PCs can suss out the dwarf and deal with him before the monkeys do, Larry Justlarry will give them one of the Zippos® and two cartons of cigarettes as a reward. If the assassin manages to complete his task, the rest of the monkeys will assume the PCs are in cahoots with the assassin and attack the party.

The dwarf assassin carries a set of high precision thieves tools, 2d6 poisoned throwing darts (Save vs. Death), a small blowgun with a set of poison darts (Save vs. Death), and a rusty-ass spear (normal damage + Save vs. Disease or infection of –1 hp per day for 1d4 days).

There is a 15% chance the dwarf will abandon his mission if convinced to join the party. He'll be trustworthy until he gets a better offer.

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

WILD #3. If the PCs end up in conversation with the foes/NPCs, one of the foes/NPCs suddenly keels over and dies for no apparent reason. Any remaining foes/NPCs blame the party for the death and attack, automatically winning initiative by surprise.

Have Another Die Drop Table . . . IN SPAAAACE!

Here, have another die drop table, this one space-themed:

PDF is linked below!
The above picture is just a screencap. Here's the PDF.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

d30 Challenge: Entry 28

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

28. David Bowie. Treat as Vampire Lord. Cannot be staked if singing "Let's Dance".

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

WILD #2. Before or after the rolled encounter, a Halfling disguised as a very short Elf runs into the area waving a short sword and carrying a glass jar containing a human heart. The heart is still beating. The Halfling (whose name doesn't matter) is on the verge of tears. He will explain that this is the heart of his beloved and it is all that remains after the Halfling tried and failed to rescue his beloved from the deepdark elves who roam the Overandunderdark.

Although the Halfling is penniless, if the PCs can help with a resurrection, the Halfling will indenture himself to them for a period of no more than three years. He has a valid and legally binding simple contract ready to sign. He is literally begging on his knees, desperate for help. As he begs, the heart beats slower and slower.

  • If the PCs themselves resurrect the body, the PCs immediately recognize the Halfling's beloved as one of the current monarch's lovers who was executed for infidelities with others at court. The no-resurrection order that applies to disgraced members of the royal house has now been violated and the royal seers are sure to know.
  • If the PCs help pay to resurrect the body, the PCs discover that the Halfling's beloved is the last blacksmith skilled in magical weaponry that they had encountered. The blacksmith is so grateful to be back to life that he will gladly improve up to three weapons in exchange for a one-year reduction in the Halfling's servitude contract.
  • If the PCs refuse to help the Halfling, the heart will stop beating and the Halfling will break down and cry inconsolably. Then he will take his sword and thrust it through his gut, spilling his intestines on the ground. Then he will start to eat them, laughing madly the entire time. He'll shortly keel over and die. In 1d4 hours, he'll come back as an incorporeal undead (DM's choice) and attack the party.
  • If the PCs attack the Halfling, the Halfling is too tired to defend himself and is easily defeated. If the heart container is smashed opened, the heart will leap out of the jar and grow to gigantic size, transforming into a Storm Giant. He is so grateful to be freed of his curse that he will accompany the party for three days (whether they like it or not).
  • If the PCs kill the Halfling per above and open the heart container by unscrewing the lid, they will find it's just a heart. If a PC eats it, they will gain a +5 STR and +6 DEX for 10d20 days. Then they will suffer a –6 STR and a –5 DEX for 10d20 days before returning to their original stats.
  • If they kill the Halfling and eat his heart, they'll find it tastes like wistful licorice dripped in honeyed disappointment. It also grants a +2 to all sneak rolls for 1d20 days.

Saturday, June 27, 2015

d30 Challenge: Entry 27

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

27. A maroon Land Octopus triple-wielding swords duels an alpha male Octorilla.

  • If the PCs join the Land Octopus, the Octorilla will become even more enraged and gain a +3 to all damage rolls.
  • If the PCs join the Octorilla, the Land Octupus will pull out three more swords and start swinging. He can target three PCs at once, and gets two attacks at each.
  • If the PCs take on both of the tentacled creatures, The Land Octopus will disappear in a huge puff of inky smoke (treat as Darkness 20ft Radius) and scramble away as quickly as possible. The Octorilla will then let out a death howl, calling in a pack of four more male Octorillas.
  • If the PCs ignore the fight, the Land Octopus will handily beat the Octorilla and then thank the PCs for not getting involved. He will tell them the duel was a family matter best left unexplained, and then invite the PCs for some tea and crumpets. If the PCs accept, drinking and eating with the Land Octopus restores 2d6 HP. If the PCs refuse, he'll pack them some crumpets to go. If the PCs later eat the crumpets, there's a 2-in-6 chance they'll develop dysentery.

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

WILD #1. After the encounter, before the PCs leave the area, there is a 15% chance an undead pelican drops a demon baby at the feet of one of the randiest PCs, along with a note explaining that they are now the proud parent of a demon spawn thanks to their most recent one night stand.

Attempts to kill the demon baby will result in the undead pelican retrieving the demon spawn and returning on a separate occasion the following week. If this continues to happen for more than two weeks, the demon will develop daddy/mommy issues and in two months will show up to blame the PC for all their misfortunes and attack the party with a gang of juvenile delinquent demons calling themselves "The Demonspurned".

If the PC accepts the responsibility of raising the child, within a week the undead pelican will show up to retrieve the child. He will blame the mix-up on a clerical error and as way of apology will give the PC a Ring of Resistance to Demon Charms.

Friday, June 26, 2015

d30 Challenge: Entry 26

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

26. 12d6 Blink Dogs play a furious game of Ultimate Frisbee. If the PCs join in for a friendly game, there is a 20% chance one of the blink dogs will take a liking to a PC and become their familiar. If the PCs attack, the blink dogs will summon 12d6 phase spiders to their defense. Other teleporting non-divine creatures within 1d6 miles will also hear the call and show up to battle the PCs.

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

A. During the encounter, there is a 33% chance that missile weapons will never hit their intended target but instead hit the PC nearest the intended target.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

d30 Challenge: Entry 25

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

25. The PCs stumble across a gigantic 30ft tall tapered ceramic vase decorated with mindbendingly obscene non-Euclidean bas-relief. If the PCs can climb to the top and look inside, they will see a shadowy maelstrom of dark swirling waters. Any light source (except natural sunlight) used to examine the inside of the vase will be immediately extinguished as the streaming light is sucked into the void. Even something imbued with a Continual Light spell will begin to dim and eventually fail and the spell extinguished while examining the slippery void.

Anything dropped into the vase will disappear. Anyone climbing into the vase must make a Save vs. Death, or immediately cease to exist. PCs who make successful saves are whisked to the Jale God's palatial chambers, where they will find themselves standing behind a huge pile of things that have been dropped into the vase. If any PC touches the pile of stuff, the Jale God wanders in. Ignore any previous reaction tables for the Jale God and/or his avatars and use the reaction table below:

Jale God Reaction Table 1d30:

01-05: The Jale God ignores the PCs, wave his hands, and the PCs immediately find themselves standing beside the vase again.

6-10: The Jale God is in a foul mood and charges the PCs with an absurd Quest.

11–15: The Jale God is delighted to have company and treats the PCs to a strange yet fulfilling meal before teleporting them to a location of their choice.

16-20: The Jale God is enraged. He attacks the PCs.

21-25: The Jale God walk in, takes a look around, and shuffles out. If the PCs dig through the stuff long enough, they will find a Scroll of Slightly Accurate Teleportation (Within 50 Leagues).

26-30: The Jale God points his finger and obliterates a random PC. No save, no resurrection, no reincarnation. The other PCs are teleported completely naked to their homebase/headquarters.

The vase can only be smashed with a +2 or better non-edged magic-imbued weapon wielded by someone with a 16 or better non-modified STR. If this is happens, everyone within 500ft must make a Save vs. Death Ray or suffer d20+d30+d66 HP damage as it explodes in a concentrated WHOMP!

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

B. During the encounter, there is a 35% chance the PCs discover a solar-powered mp3 player laying on the ground. The player is loaded with a complete collection of Iron Maiden albums, the first four Black Sabbath albums, Metallica's Ride the Lightning and Master of Puppets, and Richard Marx's Greatest Hits.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Evil Gnome Die Drop Table

I couldn’t resist, so I made another die drop table from an old comic. Here is a two-page spread. You need to print out both pages and lay them side-by-side:

click to embiggen
This is just a screenshot. Use the PDF, here.

Angry Mob Die Drop Table

Inspired by +evandro novel's post here,  I made this for you:

JPG version - click to embiggen

PNG version - click to embiggen

Edit: Here's a PDF, by request.

This is based upon the 1953 Classics Illustrated Junior #504: The Pied Piper comic, from Gilbertson Publishing. The company no longer exists, so I've appropriated the art. I think I've transformed it enough to count as fair use.

At any rate, I'm not claiming any credits for this other than regular copyright over the text. Do with it what you will.

d30 Challenge: Entry 24

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

24. Hundreds of thousands of small scorpions hitch a ride on the backs of 5 giant scorpions. The scorpions are currently eating 2 giant spiders that are still half alive. A pack of sentient giant Grasshopper Mice ride herd over the scorpions, protecting them from harm as the mice drive them to their lair. The Grasshopper Micemen (treat as orks + ability to leap 15ft with ease during melee) are willing to trade needed goods for scorpion poison.

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

C. There is a 60% chance a foe/NPC encountered in this area immediately develops an incredible streak of vampiric bloodlust for a particular PC, although it may not be noticeable. They will do anything possible to kill that PC and drink and/or bathe in their blood, even if the foe/NPC must wait patiently to do so.

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

d30 Challenge: Entry 23

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

23. A team of 8 dead mules is harnessed to an overturned wagon, blocking the party's path. Root vegetables are strewn all over the ground, including some never before seen by the PCs. A dead female cleric of chaos is trapped under the wagon, her skull crushed by the axle. She is dressed for travel; on her left leg is an iron cuff with three chain links still attached.

A 7 or 8 year old boy lays unconscious a few feet away. The boy has a broken arm and a broken leg; the non-broken leg wears an iron cuff with single link of chain dangling from it. He is emaciated, filthy, and in need of a haircut; his body is covered with bruises and scars.

If the PCs heal the boy, when he awakens he will tell them his name is Samwich Everflame and he was stolen from his father 21 full moons ago by the now-dead cleric, whose name is Forvalla Drey. Forvalla treated him like a slave and forced him to do many despicable things. She was travelling to a ritual gathering when the mules were spooked by a giant centipede and bolted, eventually causing the accident. Before Forvalla died from her head wounds, she killed the mules with a spell in anger.

Samwich will suggest that his father, a candlemaker in a far-off village (the DM is encouraged to make it a fair distance away), might reward the party for his safe return with a few Everlasting Candles, which the PCs might recognize as coveted minor magic items.

The boy is traumatized. Any attempt to touch him—even to remove his shackle— will make him shrink and cry. He is jumpy and suffers all the trust issues associated with the clinically abused.

He's a good actor, too, because Samwich is of course lying. Moments before her death, Forvalla's chaotic patron swapped her and the boy's souls so that the boy died and Forvalla inhabits the boy's body. She retains all her clerical knowledge and abilities. The shackled ankle is the chaos god's holy symbol. If Samwich stays with the party, she will attempt to kill them off at every opportunity she gets.

Forvalla Drey / Samwich Everflame
Chaotic Female Cleric trapped in boy child's body
Lvl: 9
AC: 9 [10]
HP: 18 [but appears to be 8]
STR 11
INT 15
WIS 16
CON 14
DEX 12
CHA 15


Suggested Spells
First (3): Cause Light Wounds, Protection from Law, Detect Law.
Second (3): Curse, Hold Person, Find Traps
Third (3): Cause Disease, Continual Dark, Remove Curse
Fourth (2): Cause Serious Wounds, Silence 10ft Radius

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

D. There is a 27% chance that a powerful Silence spell has been cast on the entire encounter area.

*NPC generated with Mithril & Mages Character Generator, then tweaked.

Monday, June 22, 2015

d30 Challenge: Entry 22

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

22. A Cobalt Klutz*, its blue skin glowing with waves of internally self-generated gamma radiation, munches on a handful of baby giant purple worms torn from their nest. PCs getting within ten feet of the Cobalt Klutz must Save vs. Death Ray or suffer 1d6 points mutating radiation damage and develop one of the mutations from the Weirdlands of Xhuul Random Mutation Table OR The Metamorphica.

The creature is in a friendly mood, as it has sated its hunger. It will not attack the party unless provoked, and prefers to flee rather than fight.

The party will find that the Cobalt Klutz cannot lie. It has the innate ability to detect lies and delights in pointing out even the most minor of mis-truths.

Finally, the Cobalt Klutz is lost. It is originally from the Overandunderdark (the deepest level of the Underdark where time and space collapse into the Mirror World that forms the edges of the Hollow World). If the PCs can give directions to an extraordinary deep crevasse or trench, the creature reward them with their choice of  a bagful of raw adamantium or raw mithril ore and then wander off.

There is a 42% chance the mother giant purple worm returns to find her nest destroyed and her babies eaten after the Cobalt Klutz lumbers off. She will not be in a good mood.

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

E. Pick a random foe/NPC. During the encounter, PCs using polearms (including spears) must make a Save vs. Spell or stab themselves in the foot (and take damage) every time they look at that foe/NPC. This compulsion manifests for no reason whatsoever.

*Kind of like the opposite of an Umber Hulk, because Product Identity.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

d30 Challenge: Entry 21

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

21. A WWI-era Sopwith Camel hangs upside down from a decaying tree, its frame battered and slightly torn, its propeller broken, and its engine smoking. A strange blunderbuss-like contraption is located where the machine-gun box should be. The pilot sits beneath the tree, eating a ham sandwich and drinking lemon-water out of a red thermos. The pilot is a mutated dwarf gnoll with floppy black ears and beady eyes. A chittering, hyperactive parakeet sits on the ground next to him, begging for crumbs. The gnoll is generous with the crumbs.

If approached, the gnoll will explain he was chasing Crimson Earl, a rogue wizard with a death warrant in three kingdoms. They engaged in an aerial duel and the gnoll was shot down when his SpellSlinger 2000™ jammed with three spells left and Earl was able to fire off six spells in quick succession, crippling the gnoll's craft. He was able to guide the plane to a cushioned yet perilous landing.

The gnoll will continually consult with the parakeet while talking to the PCs, although no one in the party will be able to decipher what they are talking about.

If the PCs can help get his plane out of the tree so he can attach his spare propeller and do some patchwork repairs to get in the air again, he'll reward the PCs with a Never-Empty Picnic Basket.

The SpellSlinger 2000™ holds up to 18 4th level spells, but the gnoll does not know how to reload it, as he's just a pilot, not an armorer.

The parakeet used to hang around the airplane armory before he hooked up with the gnoll.

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

F. There is a 5% chance that any PC killed during the encounter doesn't recognize that they are dead. Neither does anyone else in the party. The PC gains all the abilities and disadvantages of a ghost yet still advances per their class and can perform in combat. However, only the PCs currently in the party can interact with the ghostly PC. To everyone else, the PC is dead.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

WIP: The Caverns Below

Okay, folks, this is the last of my Work-in-Progress entries. I should have the final version ready in a few weeks. As usual, it will be a free download. It will be released using either the GFDL or a non-commercial use CC license (but I'll give explicit permission for at-cost commercial printing). I use Pages, Word, & LibreOffice for editing and such, but my layout skills are by no means professional. I can't afford InDesign and Scribus is too much of a learning curve. If anyone has pointers, PM me on the G+.

7. The Caverns Below
Outside the house, 2 doors in the ground open on a short staircase that leads to a 10ft x 10ft root cellar filled with potatoes, beets, and other root vegetables. One wall of the cellar is collapsed; two shovels and a pick lay nearby. 2ft in front of the fallen wall is a 3ft-wide hole in the floor. A length of stout rope dangles from a wooden ceiling support down into the hole. A cool breeze issues from the hole, bringing with it an acrid odor.

Climbing down the rope leads PCs to into the caverns. This hole is the only exit from the cave.

Caverns Wandering Encounters (1d6)

01. Green Slime: AC 9 (10), HD 2, AT special, XP 3/60; Special: Turns metal or organic material into green slime
02. Ochre Jelly: AC 8 (11), HD 6, AT 1 acid-laden strike, D 3d4), XP 400; Special: Lightning divides creature
03. Zombified Goblin: AC 8 (11), HD 2, #AT 1 (sword or strike), D 1d8, XP 30; Special: Immune to sleep and charm
04. Zombified Goblin (as above)
05. Crazy Grue (see Area 7D)
06. Shaggy (see Area 7F)

d30 Challenge: Entry 20

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

20. Six black goats stand in a circle licking a block of salt. If any of the goats are touched by a PC, Blorcus, the youngest and weakest half-step-brother of Orcus the Demon Prince, will immediately manifest, standing on the salt lick. He will demand the PCs pay him homage by slaughtering the goats and pouring their blood on the salt block in libation.

The goats will ignore Blorcus and continue to greedily lick the salt block.

Try as they might, the PCs can't kill the goats. They are under the protection of Curdle, the Petty Goddess of Blind Milkmaids (see link or Expanded Petty Gods). Any weapon-based attack will merely bounce off the goats' hides and spells will have no effect.

If the PCs spend too much time trying to kill the goats, Curdle herself will manifest. Blorcus is afraid of her and will immediately dissipate.

The salt block is worth 10sp.

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

G. There is a 40% chance that the encounter is a dream and the PCs are still asleep. They will wake up only if all foes/NPCs have fled or been defeated. Because the dream was so intense, no actual rest was possible and no spells were recovered.

Friday, June 19, 2015

A Comparison & Some Kerflufflily Thoughts

So, the whole White Star OGL kerfluffle.

Let's look at something. This is in no way an indictment of +Mark Hunt; in fact, he has already deleted this one page adventure I'm using here as an example and two others like it from the White Star Google+ Community. I don't know if he removed them or if the community mods did. But they were up anywhere from a few days to a few hours before they disappeared.

Anyway, here is a one-page adventure he posted. It is gorgeous:

click to embiggen
Let's see what's going on here:
  1. Slick, cool looking, appropriated artwork that might be transformed somehow from the original, uncredited.
  2. Use of White Star Compatibility Logo.
  3. No declaration of any kind of use license: no CC, no OGL, nada nothing zilch.
  4. No specific mention of White Star IP (at least as far as I can tell).
Now, here is my one-pager that caused the kerfluffle. This is v3, which corrected a few typos:

click to embiggen
Let's see:
  1. Slick, cool looking appropriated artwork, cropped, stretched, and color-shifted, credited with links in the corner.
  2. Use of White Star Compatibility Logo.
  3. A declaration of use license, including a link to the OGL. Perhaps incorrectly used, but an attempt was made.
  4. No specific mention of White Star IP.
Why was Mark lauded with positive comments for his post and why was I pilloried as a bad actor? Based on the two screenshots above, I actually did more to credit the appropriated work and make an attempt to give others freedom to use my original content than Mark did.

As far as I can, tell, it's four things.
  1. Mark is a cool dude who has promoted the hell out of White Star. He posts a lot of stuff in the forum and wrote & published one of the best selling supplements for White Star, Drongo: Planet of Peril (which is currently a best seller at RPGNow -- buy it NOW by clicking the link); today he released Drongo: Ruins of the Witch Kingdoms for Dungeon Crawl Classics, too. He is a very creative, friendly guy and one of the top posters in the White Star G+ community, too.
  2. The White Star guys freaked when they saw people using the WSCL and not doing it the way they want it done. But, as several posters have pointed out in this thread right over here: , they didn't implement the OGL correctly in their own damn product and might possibly not understand the OGL as well as they think they do. They retroactively fixed some of the problems in White Star, but they have doubled-down on their "our way or the highway" attitude. And now they are going around trying to make other people abide by their possible misunderstandings of the OGL, copyright, fair use, and nominative use in fan works. Quite frankly, they got caught with their pants down, people took pictures, and now they are trying to get ahold of everybody's negatives. But that is a losing job. Here's an example. Here's another. And here's another. All use or are based on White Star IP and lack the OGL. Good luck with getting people to comply.
  3. My thumbing-my-nose at their sacred cows. True, I did. As Tenkar said over in a comment on this post, I "came off as an ass". But so what? Taken in context of the entire PDF I created (read it again -- retrieving a stuffed animal as a mission hook? Interplanet Janets as a random encounter? J. Crew Cabins? "An unsuitable adventure for any level"?), my flippant side comment about the OGL in the credits corner fits in with the whole silly, gonzo, thumb-nosing vibe.
  4. Private messages between me and Teh Bagder were tense and downright hostile. He was down-his-nose-finger-wagging, I was up-yours-middle-finger-wagging. It was not pretty. I accused him of something he did not do in private, and he hauled that out in a comment on a post in a different forum. And I apologized for it (the accusation, not the attitude) in private before he brought it out in the public forum post. (Quite frankly, I think that was kinda gauche--info in private conversations should remain private unless both people agree to take them public.)
People in the White Star G+ Community are claiming that I wasn't "playing by the rules" and spoiling things for people.  People who are now posting in the blogosphere about how to use the OGL properly, what options are available for publishers, why you'd want to consult a lawyer before ever publishing something game-related, etc. are missing one very small but important point: THIS WASN'T ABOUT PUBLISHING SOMETHING FOR SALE.

It was about sharing stuff among friends -- a "here, look what I created, let me share it with you" sort of thing. This was originally a casual, one-page adventure contest. It was a "post your cool stuff in the forum and I'll award a prize to what I think is the coolest" kind of thing.

But people started freaking out (maybe "expressing concern" is a better way to say it) about the lack of "rules." +Stan Shinn asked about copyrights.  +Dyson Logos was concerned because someone wanted to include one of his maps in an entry and asked about graphic design copyrights.  +Bill Logan was concerned about re-publication in a collection. Then +Stan Shinn asked about use licenses and Mark said he didn't care -- OGL or CC or whatever. And then the mod stepped in and insisted that entrants include the whole text of the OGL. And when I protested and said that all these things really didn't matter for a nice little contest among friends, the shit hit the fan. +Dyson Logos disagreed with me. I responded and went of on a tangential rant about copyrights and casual internet infringement and how folks shouldn't worry about those things. Then the owner came in and started shame fingering me (don't worry, the link is safe!). So I basically said screw that and left the group.

Essentially, this was a shit storm because I said NO to the White Star guys when they started insisting on people using the OGL for a silly little contest among fans. And because things were tense and hostile, I left the group -- it was clear that I am never going to see eye to eye with the owners and mods of the forum, so why should I stick around? They clearly wanted me off their lawn. So I left.

And after I left the community, I even took down the files and removed the WSCL and other references to White Star from the PDF and posted a new one.

And then the character assassination began. The White Star community owner/mod held me up as an example and strongly implied I was a thief. +Erik Tenkar waded in late in the game and accused me of "locking all my threads" (in fact I removed download links and locked all of two posts) and started pontificating as he usually does.

And so yesterday's two posts (one of which was also posted as a Google+ post that you'd have only seen it if I am in one of your circles).

To be fair, Barrel Rider Games was burned by the OGL before when someone legally re-used material they released under the OGL, taking their hard work and repackaging it with cheesy stock art and graphics from Battle for Wesnoth. So I totally understand why they are hyper-protective of their IP. But there was no White Star IP in my PDF other than the WSCL. And the OGL? I did what hundreds of people do -- slap on an OGL notice and a link to the OGL. Even WotC says this might be sufficient in their FAQ:

Q: What if I'm writing an email message or using a very small amount of Open Game Content?
A: Technically, you are still required to include a copy of the License text. In the real world however, you are unlikely to be sued by someone over the use of Open Game Content in an email message or other trivial use if you fail to do so.
Q: I want to create a website that contains many different pages with Open Game Content. Do I have to include a copy of the License on every page?
A: It will be sufficient to include a link on every page containing Open Game Content to one centralized copy of the License.

Notice: My PDF was hosted on my blog via GoogleDrive and DropBox and linked to my G+post. I did contain a link to a centralized copy of the license, it just wasn't to one hosted on my website. That, if anything, is where I erred in the one-page PDF.

Also: Ain't nothing more trivial than a contest between friends for a retro-clone ruleset adaptation of another retro-clone ruleset adaptation based on a simulacrum of the first edition of the world's most popular fantasy roleplaying game that's played by a few hundred people (the 3rd-removed adaptation, that is). That's pretty damn trivial in the big scheme of things if you ask me.

Here's the bottom line: I did more to credit the people I appropriated material from than most people who had previously posted material to freely share in that forum (note I said freely share -- not sell), including the guy who proposed the contest (no offense intended, Mark!).

And while I might have incorrectly tried to apply the OGL to my original content, the use of all the other appropriated material clearly meets three of the four factors of the fair use doctrine -- even the use of the WSCL, to a certain extent. Instead of nicely asking me to remove the White Star logo from the file, the owner/mods got all pompously self-righteous about the OGL and started shaming me in public. And that got my hackles up.

For the record, I am not a victim. I do not feel victimized in any way and I harbor no ill will to anyone I plussed in this message. I just want to get my version of events on the record.

Finally, let me put it this way: I won't be buying any Barrel Rider Games stuff anytime soon.

Now, I'm gonna go roll some dice just to hear how they sound.

d30 Challenge: Entry 19

d30 Gonzo Encounters Suitable for
Dungeon Sandbox Crawling Exploration

19. A large purple tureen inset with intricate golden filigree rests on the ground. Nearby are a stack of wooden bowls and spoons—enough for the entire party. The tureen contains a delectable chick pea soup with a chicken broth base. Eating the soup restores all lost HP and instantaneously restores all spells used so far that day. As soon as any PC goes back for seconds, the tureen is empty. It will never refill. The tureen itself is worth roughly 50gp to collectors.

d30 Alphabetic Modifiers

H. A large war dog wanders in during the encounter and pops a squat. If the PCs check the steaming pile, they'll find a goblin finger bone with a Ring of Exaggeration. The ring is cursed and can only be removed with a Wish or a boon from a minor or petty god (the major gods have no time for such tuck). The ring forces the wearer to exaggerate every third truth they speak to the point of unbelievability. There is a 12% chance the war dog will befriend the party and tag along after them. His name is Francis. Not Frank. Francis.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

My recent thoughts on use licenses, etc.

This is a public post of some private G+ messages. I like to keep my G+ messages off of public mode, so here is what I posted last night, slightly edited for clarity.

Note: for the record, I'm not anti-OGL as some people claim. It's a good framework for people who want to charge money for their work.  For everyone else, it's not.

After the kerfluffle I inadvertently started in the White Star: White Box Science Fiction Roleplaying circle regarding the publisher of White Star wanting the entire OGL included in a one page adventure/dungeon contest a community member was running for shits & giggles, I've been wondering if there is a better way to release work online. (You can go look it up -- my stance is that it goes against the spirit of the OPD and introduced too much legal bullshit into a fun fan project, but others--mainly the mods and publishers--vehemently disagree).

I'm not really in favor of the OGL and I have issues with Creative Commons, too -- but I'm thinking maybe I should just use a more restrictive no-derivates, no commercial use version of the CC license.

But at the same time, I want people to feel free to share and use and remix my stuff, as long as they let me know they're doing so. I'm cool with people using my stuff for profit -- if they ask me first and acknowledge my contribution in their product and maybe kick me a free copy.

I'm in favor of open gaming in concept and in practice at the table, but what works best for giving writers and creators the flexibility to do what I've outlined in the paragraph above?

I don't like being a bean counter counting every instance of every creature to stick on a copyright section in the OGL. I'm dashing shit together to freely use, not to make money and infringe on someone's right to make money off their creations. I'm a fan who creates works for fans for free (or at-cost printing, at the most). I do this for fun, not profit.

I am seriously considering saying screw it all in terms of worrying about this shit and switching away from the OGL and the Creative Commons in favor of the GNU Free Documentation License for my RPG-related stuff--just giving it away and not worrying about who does what with it.

As a fan and end-user of material created under the OGL, the CC, or whatever license, that license does nothing for me. In fact, it restricts my creativity with the material, and as a fan creating derivate amateur not-for-sale works, I am better off ignoring those licenses.

Let me put it this way: fan fiction exists. Fans read books they love and then write and share stories based in other people's universes. Writers and book publishers know fan fiction exits -- even fan fiction which twists an author's creations in ways that the author may not like (slash fiction, for example). These writings infringe on copyrights six ways from Sunday.

But authors and book publishers know it is pointless to try to stop people from writing and freely distributing fan fiction because the fans who write it are the most rabid supporters of those authors and support those authors with their checkbooks.

It isn’t until someone tries to get fan fiction professionally published (50 Shades of Grey, for example) that the guns come out and the fan writer needs to make sure that the work abides by whatever draconian legal code exists to expunge references to copyrighted works they have used without permission. Either that, or the fan writer must seek and pay for permissions to use that work (which can run thousands of dollars in some cases, such as inclusion of song lyrics in a story).

In other words, by insisting that not-for-profit amateur fan-created work abide by and carry an official license, all the publisher ensures is the ill will of a community consisting of their greatest supporters. Instead, companies are better off turning a blind eye to nominal infringement if that infringement boosts the chances of the company making more of a profit over time from those fans' purchases.

Does someone who builds their own Stormtrooper cosplay outfit have to pay a licensing fee to Disney? No. And Disney would be stupid to go after those people who do so, because those people are the ones who most avidly support the Star Wars franchise through their fandom. But if that fan started selling cosplay Stormtrooper costumes she built -- well, then Disney has a legitimate beef, as the fan is profiting off of Disney's property. As long as the fan does what the fan does in the name of fandom, Disney has no problem with her. But if Disney went after that fan just for creating and wearing her own cosplay outfit at ComiCon or StarWarsCon or ImNotaCon, the Internet would light up with bad publicity.

WotC (actually, it was TSR then) learned that lesson in the years before the OGL when they threatened to sue fans for publishing fan works online (waaay back in the mid to late 1990s -- look it up).  The OGL was a ham-fisted response to assuage fans and let them circulate material without fear of being sued. But some folks saw it as a way to legitimately publish work and the d20 era was born. (This previous sentence was incorrect -- the retroclone era was born out of the d20 era which flourished under the OGL).

But in the early days of the OGL, a lot of d20 publishers ran afoul of its terms (Fast Forward, etc.) and WotC brought out the big guns and quashed them. And thus the fear runneth over. Now, every publisher is scared as hell that WotC will come after them if they are caught infringing the OGL, so they go as far as to document every piece of IP in the OGL declarations and even police fan-created work. It's worked for folks who can afford to do it -- Paizo, Frog God, Goodman Games, and a few other brave souls who have managed to create and run businesses by making sure they don't run afoul of the OGL in any way.

But fans are not businesses. Fans are people who love the stuff the businesses have so meticulously created, and we have rewarded those business for their due diligence with our wallets when we buy their products. But the businesses do not get to dictate how we use those products in our own homes, at our own tables, in our own games. We live in a different age and the Internet tools we have at our disposal are powerful and easy to use and make creation and distribution of unofficial fan material easy and fun. There has been a generational shift in attitude regarding the use, reuse, and remixing of creative works. Many people in their 40s (like myself) and older are uncomfortable with this change because it undermines their entire worldview of how stuff gets made and circulated and who controls what gets made and who makes money off of it.  They see fan material as undermining the effort and time and money they put into creating their businesses, and thus they fear losing control of the work they created by the sweat of their brow. And they are right -- they lose control the moment they put it out into the world for others to consume. Our ability to create and the tools we use to do so have outpaced our laws and the legal frameworks upon which control of our creations have been based for hundreds of years (remember--copyright is enshrined in the Constitution of United States).

Publishers and rights-owners need to recognize this shift and start making plans to work within this new digital age or be left behind. While this country is still run by old white men in power, it won't be for long as our demographics are shifting (which is why the old white men in power are yelling even louder and looking more ridiculous and proving themselves ignorant every minute donald trump). The RPG industry, for all its inclusiveness of individual identities, still embraces a culturally conservative economic model when it comes to the marketing and sale of creative capital.

And that's a damn shame.