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d30 Table of Self-Referential Items

01. Orbital Orb of Orbing: allows user to locate any other magical orbs within a 360 league radius.

02. Ultimate Sword of Swording: +3 to all to-hit rolls (not damage rolls).

03. Horrible Hammer of Hammering: +3 to all to-hit rolls, but -4 damage. May only be used by dwarves.

04. Darren's Drum of Drumming: when struck, makes no noise, but all doors within thirteen feet are shaken off their hinges and all canids within 1 mile start howling in pain.

05. Shining Shield of Shielding: +2 to AC when used outside on a sunny, cloudless day.

06. Unpolished Spoon of Spooning: +2 to CHA for all flirt rolls.

07. Astounding Axe of Axing: +4 to all to-hit rolls against Ents.

08. Lonesome Ring of Ringing: -8 to CHA, but +5 to all stealth rolls plus wearer constantly hears an annoying high-pitched whining sound no one else can hear.

09. Honorable Helm of Helming: +3 to all negotiation checks.

10. Terrible Torc of Torquing: -3 to all open door checks.

11. Petir's Pot of Potting: provides a bo…

1d30 Slightly Useless Spell Scrolls

1d30 Slightly Useless Spell Scrolls Found in the Archives of Wälläkatüntün
01. Break Wind: cures flatulence in 10ft radius.

02. Kitten Cuddle: summons 1d30 cute, cuddly kittens.

03. Wash Wizard: thoroughly cleans and deodorizes 1 wizard.

04. Undo Toe Stub: self-explanatory.

05. Wang Dang Doodle: allows caster to dance all night long without tiring.

06. Flim Flam: grants ability to convincingly lie with 100% undetectability, but only to people named "Flam".

07. Hoboken Chicken: summons 1 266-pound friendly chicken.

08. Capture Flag: captures 1 random flag.

09. Uncrease Cloth: removes creases from 1sq ft of non-magical cloth.

10. Cure Hiccups: self-explanatory.

11. Uncook Beans: self-explanatory.

12. Nit Pick: removes head lice from 1d4 humanoids in 10ft radius.

13. Hen Peck: allows caster to berate 1d4 humanoids in 10ft radius.

14. Double Bag of Holding: places all Bags of Holding within another non-magical bag.

15. Scramble Eggs: randomly reorganizes 1d20 eggs in a nest.

16.…