Richard LeBlanc threw down the challenge.
The Seven Twee Philosophers
minions of Uroborialis, Petty Goddess of Instinctual Wisdom
No. Encountered: 7 (all 7 always encountered as a group)
Movement: 60' (20')
Armor Class: 6
Hit Dice: 6
Damage: 1d4 (cane) + Special (bite; see below)
Hoard Class: None
XP: 1, 500 (for group)
The Seven Twee Philosophers are wingless, divine homunculi created by Uroborialis, the Petty Goddess of Instinctual Wisdom, to debate the meaning of existence and the means of survival. They keep up an endless debate amongst themselves, leaning on their plain wooden canes and arguing, counter-arguing, contradicting, and refuting each others' positions on any and all topics up for discussion. They often get so carried away with their arguments that they literally fight amongst themselves, beating each other with any available object and generally causing a riot.
Anyone passively listening to their debate for more than 1d6 turns must make a Save vs. Spell; failure results in a 75% chance of sleep for 1d10 turns or a 25% chance of an untargeted berserk rage.
Anyone attempting to engage the Twee Philosophers in debate has a 25% chance of becoming so engaged in the conversation that they will stay engaged in the debate for 1d8 days without sleeping (and suffering the consequences of such), but will come away from the debate with a permanent +2 to WIS.
The Twee Philosophers' names have been lost to time; they themselves have forgotten their names and origins. It is rumored their names are inscribed on a worn stone in a destroyed temple once dedicated to Ywehbobbobhewy, Lord of Waters, King of Mirrors, Patriarch of the Most Profound, listed among the names of his favorite entertainers.
Their names are:
No one knows which name belongs to which Twee Philosopher.
Should a PC find out one of their names and speak it aloud, all the homunculi will attack. They attack by hitting their victim with their wooden canes and by bite; a bitten victim must Save vs. Spell or sleep for 20d20 turns; their bites can penetrate all armors but elven plate mail.
If one Twee Philosopher is killed, Uroborialis will manifest and attack.
The Twee Philosophers can normally be found in the halls of various schools of academia, inner temples of sanctuaries, and the dicing dens of backwater taverns—especially if Verthish, the Petty God of Single Pips (who himself is a manifestation of the Jale God) is in attendance at the dicing tables. In such a situation, there is a 65% chance that an avatar of Uroborialis herself is also in attendance or somewhere nearby.