Thursday, December 18, 2014

Petty Gods: Doddering Scrivener, minion of the Petty Gods

Richard emailed me this request:

Doddering Scrivener
minions of the petty gods

No. Encountered: 1 (1d10)
Alignment: Neutral
Movement: 90' (30')
Armor Class: 10
Hit Dice: 1d6+2
Attacks: 0
Damage: None
Save: M2
Morale: 4
Hoard Class: XVII
XP: 25

Outfitted in bright orange hooded cowls and scapulas, Doddering Scriveners are a race of gnome-like creatures with over-sized ears whose sole purpose is to record the decrees of the petty gods for posterity and serve as notary witnesses to all divine petty contracts. Whenever a petty god deigns to enter a contract, grant a boon, or send a foolhardy adventurer on an arduous quest, a Doddering Scrivener mysteriously appears to record the particulars and collect signatures.

Although not much is known about their biology beyond their appearance and ability to teleport at will, their society is extremely hierarchical, divided into 20 classes, each divided into 20 divisions, and each division divided into 20 sections. Each section is further divided into different ranks of innumerable individual Scriveners responsible for recording, archiving, and cataloging all decrees and contracts within a specific sphere of divine influence.

Doddering Scriveners follow a strict ethical code and are sworn to a life of pacifism. They carry no weapons and wear no armor. If attacked, they will attempt to avoid combat by fleeing but they will not defend themselves beyond fisticuffs; their attempts at such are weak and ineffectual.

A Doddering Scrivener has instantaneous recall of any deed that he himself has recorded and, if given up to half-an-hour, can find any other contract in the Deed archives (it is, of course, efficiently organized for such use). The classification system used by Doddering Scriveners is a carefully guarded secret and even the gods themselves do not understand it. The quills, ink pots, and parchments used by Doddering Scriveners fetch high prices on the black market, as they are rumored to be able to create undetectable forgeries if used in combination.

Doddering Scriveners follow no deity themselves but remain decidedly neutral in all affairs. They never offer an opinion (even if pressed) on any topic, and carry out their duties with an air of resigned indifference.  They utterly lack individual personalities and prefer to remain unnoticed.

It is said that eating the brain of a Doddering Scrivener imparts the ability to read and write in all languages; this might be true, but one definite side effect is the loss of the ability to blink. Victims of this side effect gradually stop producing tears and their eyes eventually shrivel and rot; there is no known cure for this malady.