1d30 Slightly Useless Spell Scrolls
1d30 Slightly Useless Spell Scrolls Found in the Archives of Wälläkatüntün
01. Break Wind: cures flatulence in 10ft radius.
02. Kitten Cuddle: summons 1d30 cute, cuddly kittens.
03. Wash Wizard: thoroughly cleans and deodorizes 1 wizard.
04. Undo Toe Stub: self-explanatory.
05. Wang Dang Doodle: allows caster to dance all night long without tiring.
06. Flim Flam: grants ability to convincingly lie with 100% undetectability, but only to people named "Flam".
07. Hoboken Chicken: summons 1 266-pound friendly chicken.
08. Capture Flag: captures 1 random flag.
09. Uncrease Cloth: removes creases from 1sq ft of non-magical cloth.
10. Cure Hiccups: self-explanatory.
11. Uncook Beans: self-explanatory.
12. Nit Pick: removes head lice from 1d4 humanoids in 10ft radius.
13. Hen Peck: allows caster to berate 1d4 humanoids in 10ft radius.
14. Double Bag of Holding: places all Bags of Holding within another non-magical bag.
15. Scramble Eggs: randomly reorganizes 1d20 eggs in a nest.
16. Summon Waiter: self-explanatory. Only works at three-star or better inns and taverns.
17. Clerical Error: forces 1d4 clerics within 10ft radius to mispronounce a word in their evening prayers.
18. Foshizzle: makes any caster with a lisp spit non-incendiary sparks when he speaks.
19. Hamper: conjures up a wicker clothes hamper that can hold 2 bushels worth of dirty clothes.
20. Revise: places any item taken out of a vise back into a vise.
21. Bladderize: makes 1d4 humanoids within a 10ft radius really, really, really need to pee.
22. Spell Check: engraves the word "CHECK" on any flat surface.
23. Hoppity Doodle: summons 1d30 rot-worm infested rabbits.
24. Nerf Herd: summons 1d30 herd of non-projectile bearing nerfs.
25. WTF: creates a 10ft radius logic-free zone emanating from caster.
26. Clear Conscience: grants caster a good feeling about himself for 1d4 hours.
27. Whoaboy: stops pack animals from moving for 1d6 minutes.
28. Flibbertigidget: summons 1 boy-crazy teenage girl surfer who immediately bursts into tears and runs away.
30. Screweit: magically impregnates up to 1d4 male sheep.