Saturday, November 9, 2013

Even More Classifieds 3

WANTED: Trustworthy hobbit rogue seeks patron. Must be rich. Contact Harbot at the Talon & Onion. I'll buy you a pint with your own purse if you don't spot me first!

LOST: Legendary birthright to ancient empire. If found, please contact Captain Lance Arlot, Walthamthorp Keep.

IF YOU ARE DOWN IN THE DUMPS then you need a dose of MAGNANIMOUS MARVIN'S ALL NATURAL PICK ME UP! Our special blend of herbs and flavorings will give you the energy you need to get through your day. Non-addictive and easy on the stomach. Available at all fine apothecaries in the realm.

I WILL BLESS YOUR WEAPONS IN THE NAME OF ARGUD THE GOOD. Helps kill goblins and orcs, and useful against vampires, werewolves, and other shape-shifters. See Brother Dormond at the Church of the Smiting Finger, Taverntoss. Small donation required.

LOST: I have lost horse. If you see horse, please bring to me. I give money for lost horse. Horse name is "Horse." Is brown and looks like horse. Find me in wood by bridge in Nangoat. Call out "OGREBILL" 3x and I meet you.

FOUND: Heart-shaped locket. Dirty, dirty, dirty! Inquire at the Talon & Onion to get it back. Ask for Reeda.

NOTICE: BARON WALTHAMTHORP REGRETS TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE EXECUTION SCHEDULED FOR THIS MARKETDAY HAS BEEN CANCELLED. IN ITS PLACE, THE BARON IS PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THE PUBLIC SHAMING OF HARBOT THE HALFLING. ALL CITIZENS ARE ASKED TO ARRIVE AT PUBLIC SQUARE BEARING ROTTEN FRUIT & VEGETABLES BY MIDDAY. NO GOURDS.

MISSED CONNECTION: You, a down-on-his-luck adventurer. Me, a down on her-luck-adventurer. Our eyes met, you looked away, when I looked back I saw four of you and I couldn't speak. You left the bar but I couldn't follow. You stole my voice, you bastard, and I want it back. Meet me back at Ursula's Rusty Nail this Marketday or I will hunt you down like the dog you are.

MILDLY ANNOYING CURSES CAST. Annoy your frenemies! Freak out your pet monkey, cat or rabbit! Tim the Apprentice seek practice in the art of evil enchantments. I'll pay YOU to let me practice on those you love! Come see me at Grailcave Hill near Castle Antioch, Caerbannog.

UNDER NEW OWNERSHIP. Yaga Babba's Bakery Shoppe, provider of breads and biscuits, pies and pastries, and flaky cakes of all kinds, is happy to announce our grand reopening under new management! Come talk to Ginger Anniebread about having us provide the provender for your next feast or wedding! Conveniently located in Marketsquare, Walthamthorp.