Uroborialis, Petty Goddess of Instinctual Wisdom

Name: Uroborialis, Petty Goddess of Instinctual Wisdom
Symbol: a flame encircled by a snake swallowing its own tail
Alignment: Neutral
Movement: 80' (40')
Armor Class: 0
Hit Points (Hit Dice): 60 (11 HD)
# Attacks: 3 (2 bite, 1 crush)
Damage: 2d8/2d8/2d8, poison
Save: C10
Morale: 10
Hoard Class: None, as wisdom is its own reward.
XP: 7, 227

While her symbol is often engraved on walls in temples and shrines, tombs and towers, hovels and castles, Uroborialis herself has no organized worshipers or clerical orders. The gods themselves often seek her counsel, although they are wary of her uncanny powers, for she owes her existence to the life-force of every being that brings forth young and thus has no need for the constant adulation sought by other gods.

This Goddess of Instinctual Wisdom appears as two female heads at either ends of an undulating, serpentine body encrusted with sparkling scarlet scales. While both heads are strikingly beautiful, one appears as a queenly grey-haired priestess and the other is a red-headed, befreckled young woman. Each head can carry on separate conversations, finish each others sentences, or speak in unison—sometimes doing all three at once.

Uroborialis has a strong association with fire, as she can use any flame source as a portal between the godly and material planes. Thus, she is impervious to fire-based attacks. It is said that in the olden times, when worship of petty gods was widely practiced, ardent followers of Uroborialis would paint a flame on their foreheads as a sign of their piety. As she never answered any of her followers' prayers, her presence in the pantheon of petty gods was eventually forgotten.

Uroborialis is extremely wise and venerated among the petty godlings as the wisest among them, and it is she who is tasked with the job of creating innate knowledge of survival in all creatures before birth. To do this, she must keep up a constant stream of banter and observations for the winds to carry the knowledge to those who will need it in their time of need. In a long ago age, she created a group of seven divine homunculi to assist in keeping up her banter and pondering the nature of the multiverse; they ramble the world engaging in petty observations and debates over the minutiae of creation. Although Uroborialis is in constant telepathic contact with these twee philosophers, she allows them free reign to explore what mysteries they may as long as they are not in harm's way, in which case she will manifest to interact with any interlopers.

She reacts best to creatures with high Wisdom scores. Those with WIS scores under 9 often find themselves acting purely on instinct within her presence, revealing their inborn natures not tamed by their respective cultures. Uroborialis will not banter with any creature whose WIS is under 9 because of this effect. She tolerates those with WIS scores of 10–15, and engages in deep philosophical philandering with those above 16. Spellcasters who hold a discussion with Uroborialis have a 20% chance to permanently gain the ability to double cast a spell under 4th level before needing to re-memorize the magicks needs to cast it. Anyone with a WIS score above 10 who engages in conversation will also find they have gained the ability to converse with any intelligent creature in that creature's native tongue for the length of the conversation for 1d12 weeks.

Uroboialis gets three attacks. She can crush victims in her powerful coils for 2d8 crushing damage. Additionally, each of her heads can bite for 2d8 damage apiece. For each successful bite, the victim must Save vs. Poison or suffer a numbing paralysis within 1d4 rounds.

Uroborialis has the unnerving ability to unhinge either of her jaws and she will attempt to swallow paralyzed victims; swallowed victims suffer 3d6 points of damage per round while inside her belly. Victims will not be digested, but will be regurgitated out the opposite end from which they were swallowed in three rounds. PCs who survive passing through the goddess's gut receive a permanent Blessing per the Bless spell and the paralysis is lifted.

Otherwise, the paralysis can only be cured by a Blessing from a cleric of 10th level or higher whose WIS score is 16 or above. When the victim is cured of the paralysis in this manner, he or she will have found the answer to one of their life's most perplexing questions, but will be unable to explain it to anyone else.

If she is successfully attacked with an intelligent weapon of non-lawful alignment, there is a 30% chance the intelligence in the weapon will be released, as it has gained the knowledge of true self-awareness and will attempt to flee from itself, thereby creating a self-contained nuclear reaction that warps the space-time continuum and merges the trapped intelligence back with its original self at the time of its birth.

Uroborialis will attempt to flee if she is reduced to below 10 hit points. She unhinges one of her jaws, tucks one head inside the other, and rolls towards the nearest flame source to escape to the godly plane.

Hostile: Attacks on sight.
3-5 Unfriendly: Speaks cryptically, usually in riddles, puns, and obscure languages.
6-8 Neutral: Ignores PCs entirely.
9-11 Indifferent: Will offer straight-forward advice.
12 Friendly: Will grant a boon or truthfully answer any question in exchange for a long philosophical discussion.

She is often found in the company of Verthish, the Petty God of Single Pips, who himself is a manifestation of the Jale God. He finds her constant stream of insightful chatter soothing.