Friday, March 29, 2013

The Mooks of Verthish

The Mooks of Verthish
When the Jale God appears as Verthish, he's often accompanied by several mooks. The mooks are divided into two gangs called The Odds & The Evens, and a pair of siblings, The Vertix Twins,  who work alone. Roll 1d6 to determine which mooks are accompanying Verthish:

1-2    The Odds
3-4    The Vertix Twins
5-6    The Evens

THE MOOKS
1  - Stinkeye  (Even)

12th Level Fighter, male
An extra-strong warrior whose right arm is solid iron (treat as +2 Warhammer),  Stinkeye has one eye like Verthish and reeks of garlic & leeks. Oddly, he's highly allergic to both. He wears a Cloak of Stealth and despises blacksmiths.

2 - Doose (Odd)
10th Level Thief, Female
Once a Mallard hen living in a pond in the Kingdom of Inninnouta, the Jale God turned him into a man on a bet with Sooka, the Petty God of Boiled Duck Eggs. Doose is wicked-fast with a knife blade and likes to stab cheaters in the back before they know what's happening. She's covered in fine down (except for her feet, hands, neck, and face) and has a habit of picking lovers who are extremely well endowed. She lays an egg every day that she then consumes in front of her lover (Save vs. Insanity or be insane for 1d6 days and need a good soak at a public house to recover). Eating the egg grants her the ability to turn invisible 2x per day. If anyone else (male or female) eats the egg (another Save vs. Insanity), they will become pregnant and give birth to a live duck in 28-30 days. The duck will be imprinted on its human. Treat it as a non-magical familiar.

3 -  Tra (Even)
10th Level Magic-User, Female
Rumored to be one of Verthish's mortal lovers, Tra is addicted to Jooroosh (often called "jay"), a powerful narcotic powder made from the dried spores of Ochre Oozes which is twisted into hemp-like coils. Jay provides a psionic high and allows users to briefly twist the space-time continuum. Tra has a 100gp-a-day habit and is therefore also addicted to gambling at dice. Due to her intake of jay, she tends to memorize the same spell to fill all her spell slots, as she's so doped up she can't wrap her brain around more than one spell. The word on the street is she often memorizes nothing but the cantrip Manipulate Smoke Ring. She also carries a +3 Dagger of Darkness.

4 - Ka'Der (Odd)
11th Level Fighter, Male.
Ka'Der is a big dumb guy who likes to hit stuff with his fists. Formerly a slave forced to be a naked wrestler in the gladiatorial Arena of Fairmona, Ka'Der won his freedom when, after besting the King's champion in his first fight, disemboweled his opponent with his bare hands and ate the unseated champion's small intestine while she was in her death throes. Ka'Der has since developed a sweetspot for sweetmeats. Carries a +1 Hatchet he calls "Carver".

5 - Sinké (Even)
16th Level Fighter, Male
Highly androgynous, Sinké is Verthish's favorite spy for his ability to pass as  either male or female in crowds. Sinké carries a +2 bonewood bow cut from the tree of the hamadryad Phersenia in the forest of Bulahdelah, a rare and cherished gift from his benefactor. Sinké is an excellent climber and prefers to attack from the high ground and is uneasy in open places. He is an expert with all archery-related weapons (including darts) and has even been known to free-throw longbow arrows with 97% accuracy.

6 - Cise (Odd)
10th Level Fighter, Female
Sinké's wife, Cise was a belly-dancer at the Court of Aaaron who, after being brutally raped by the prince consort, took her revenge by poisoning the wine of the entire court with an 50 yard skien of jay. Overcome by the unexpected psionic high of the drug, their brains jellied and oozed out their ears. Cise fled to the Mercenary Guild, where Sinké, a former member of the royal guard, was the Grand Master of Archery.  Sinké, taken by Cise's beauty, secured her guild membership and began her training in fighting arts. An expert at hand-to-hand combat, Cise prefers to double-wield short scimitars. She carries a Veil of Tears which when worn makes anyone in a five-foot radius (except the wearer) weep uncontrollable tears (no save, –2 to all combat rolls). She is considered the leader of The Odds.

7 - Nop'ha'se (Even)
13th Level Illusionist, Male
Verthish found Nop'ha'se  when he was seven, hustling games of five rocks in the alleyways of Vornheim. Verthish was so taken by the young man's wily good looks and quick hands that he took him under this wing to train in the ways of dice deception. A skilled gambler and hustler, Nop'ha'se is often the bait to get a hot dice game going so Verthish can manifest and gamble for souls. Nop'ha'se has mastered the art of doing his finger manipulations to invoke a spell while in the process of tossing dice.

8 - Nukel (Odd)
14th Level Magic-User, Male
Nukel is a highly skilled alchemist but he often gets his spells wrong. In an attempt to develop a low-grade strain of Jooroosh to wean Tra of her addiction, he accidentally created the most addictive strain: the highly pungent, golden yellow variation nicknamed  "Purine" by aficionados. Nukel's favorite spell in combat is Magic Sword, which he often casts as Magic Swear. Verthish keeps him around for shits & giggles.

9 - Lands (Even)
12th Level Thief, Female
A bedraggled, horribly scarred 63 year old woman, Lands poses as a beggar on street corners to scope out the best marks to hustle.  While she looks thin and weak, her skeletal structure has been magically replaced with mithril through a freak accident in Nukel's lab. Her flesh wounds normally, but her bones cannot be severed from her body. She wishes she was dead already.

10 - Knek't (Odd)
12th Level Thief, Male
Fastest fingers in a pocket, Knek't is Land's son. He has a terrible crush on Tra which his mother thinks is unnatural. Knek't has an appetite for the jeweled eyes of temple statues--literally. His gut contains a multitude of small jewels that do not pass. Once a week he shits a single jewel. Roll on the jewel treasure chart to determine the gem, and then consult the gem chart on page 107 of  the Labyrinth Lord rulebook to determine it's value:

d%
01-15    Ruby
16-30    Sapphire
31-45    Emerald
46-60    Pearl
61-75    Diamond
76-85    Amythest
86-90    Jade
91-95    Onyx
96-00    Garnett

11 - Gnil'bmag (Even)
10th Level Elf, Male
The only elf among Verthish's henchman, Gnil'bmag is an outcast among his people yet the acknowledged leader of The Evens. Having been a great general at the time of the Flame Wars of Jubrini, Gnil'bmag was given a small stronghold of his own in the Warded Woods, along with a six-man squad  of  Elfish warriors,  as reward for defending the Hidden Tower of Fensdown from the goblin invaders.  After a century or two of quiet solitude, The Six tired of the roles as Warders of the Woods and convinced Gnil'bmag to quietly leave their position to pursue adventure. And so they did. And all of them died in the frozen lands of the Southern Wastes. Except for Gnil'bmag, who had been captured by Frost Giants and imprisoned for three centuries. He managed to escape and returned to the Fensdown, only to find the Woods had been cleared for pastureland and his keep, having fallen into neglect, dismantled by peasants to make huts. The Elves stripped him of his immortality in retribution of his failure. He is deathly afraid of being touched by a ghoul.

12 - Oshuq (Odd)
No one knows who Oshuq really is. Some say he comes from the world beyond dreams; other say he himself is a petty godling in disguise; still others say he's a mutated molted owlbear. Regardless, Oshuq possesses unusual strength and an oder similar to rotting skunkweed. He is an imposing presence, standing 21 hands tall and weighing 27 stone. He is clothed in damp, dirty, cloth bandages wrapped tightly against his skin, leaving only small slits to see and breathe from. He does not talk and no one has ever seen him eat. He wears Boots of Traveling and Springing. He does not carry a weapon. In a fight, he disarms his opponents by tearing off their arms.

13 - The Vertex Twins
12th Level Dwarf Fighters
The Vertex Twins (Vert and Tyse) are conjoined twins fused along the backbone. They share a spine, some internal organs,  and an asshole, but nothing else.  They constantly bicker and insult each other and are usually avoided by all of Verthish's other henchmen. They prefer to speak Goblin and have invented several unique swears and invocations that have gained in popularity among the goblin speakers  ("May your backhair be shaved by an angry otter" being an extremely popular one at the moment; say it in Goblin and you'll know why).  Vert wields a +2 Battleaxe and Tyse wields several +2 Throwing Axes. Neither fights with a shield, preferring to spring around and try to put his sibling in harm's way to protect himself. Verthish has promised that if one of them should die, he would make the survivor whole. He's enjoyed watching them in combat ever since.