Thursday, March 28, 2013

Tetskuize the Demoralizer

Tetskuize the Demoralizer
18th Level Lich (formerly a Cleric of Curdle, the Petty Goddess of Blind Milk Maids)

Alignment: Chaotic (good)
Movement: 60’ (20’)
Armor Class: 0
Hit Points (Hit Dice): 67 (12+)
Attacks: 1 (fire touch)
Damage: 1d10 fire damage
Save: C18
Morale: 9
Hoard Class: XXII
XP: 4, 400

Once the High Priestess of the Order of Amelkin, which is dedicated to the worship of Curdle, the Petty Goddess of Blind Milk Maids, Tetskuize met her mortal demise at the hands of the mad wizard Wälläkatüntün during the Flame Wars of Jubrini.

Called "the Demoralizer" for the way she would scold novices of the order, Tetskuize was responsible for spreading the worship of Curdle beyond the clans of the Felsden Wastes to the majority of the known realms. She achieved this mostly by imposing strict curfews on milkers of the order and bans on avarian protocooperation and musical pageants among the milking herds, especially the dwarf aurochs, dun cows,  and Mýrasýslian goats.

As she was the first Head Priestess chosen by Curdle herself to be the Head Priestess of the Order, Curdle took pity on her in death. Curdle begged her father, Ywehbobbobhewy (Lord of Waters, etc., etc.) to beseech the Jale God to grant Tetskuize's soul immortality on the godling plane.  The Jale God challenged Ywehbobbobhewy to a game of Crown & Anchor, and as the game ended in a draw, the Jale God begrudgingly assented to partially fulfill the request: he made Tetskuize a lich whose phylactery (a small cheese press) is kept locked away somewhere secret on the godling plane.

Tetskuize has all the normal abilities of a lich as described in the Advanced Edition Companion, except that she deals fire damage instead of cold damage. Once a year she must make a pilgrimage to encounter a different aspect of the Jale God to give him thanks for her existence.

No longer in direct service to the Order of Almelkin in their home chapel, Tetskuize now holds host in the Labyrinth of Myzithra on the island of Anari, overseeing the production of sour cheeses for the Lizards of Uroon. The lizardmen keep the exact location of the island secret to insure a steady supply of Xynotryi cheeses, considered a staple of the Uroonian foot soldier's diet. (The Lizards of Uroon worship Curdle by the name Sssththssss, or "Milk of the Mother Lizard.")

Although now a trapped in her undead state, Tetskuize still keeps up steady worship of Curdle. It is rumored by the blind lizards who tend the goats in the Labyrinth of Myzithra that Curdle herself has sought Tetskuize's companionship during the time of the Dark Moon Festival.

As one of the few non-magic user liches, Tetskuize's existence is hotly contested by other Petty Godlings, who would destroy her on sight were it not for the Jale God's intervention & Curdle's favoritism.