Petty God: Ywehbobbobhewy, Lord of Waters, King of Mirrors, Patriarch of the Most Profound

Name: Ywehbobbobhewy, Lord of Waters, King of Mirrors, Patriarch of the Most Profound
Symbol: A cracked mirror dripping three drops of water
Alignment: Chaotic (good)
Movement: 90’ (30’)
Armor Class: -5
Hit Points (Hit Dice):
125 (21 HD)
Attacks: 2 + special
Damage: 2d8 + special
Save: F19
Morale: 12
Hoard Class: X
XP: 13, 000

Ywehbobbobhewy, Lord of Waters, King of Mirrors, Patriarch of the Most Profound, is the petty god of magic mirror portals. Ywehbobbobhewy's manifestations occur in churning or disturbed waters, fragments of shattered mirrors, and deep thoughts that should not be thought. He appears as a pulsing mass of a thousand-eyed fleshy, clawed, tentacle-like appendages and grinning toothy mouths cackling with maniacal laughter. Ywehbobbobhewy’s most ardent worshipers and servants come from the most learned of the learned ranks: those who have glimpsed the divine without divine assistance and have been driven mad by what they have glimpsed. Sociopaths and/or academics, in other words.

Ywehbobbobhewy is never surprised by opponents and attacks only upon being attacked; he attacks by casting shards of glass from his fleshy appendages, which do 2d8 damage, with a 20% chance that a successful hit teleports the attacker to the nearest large body of water.

Ywehbobbobhewy can only be struck by +2 or better weapons. He is resistant to attacks by normal and magical fire, and any such attacks will result in a fuckton of steam billowing back on the attacker, inflicting as many hit points of damage as Ywehbobbobhewy has remaining (the victim/s may save versus breath attack for half damage).

However, this petty god would rather woo and/or taunt attackers and send them on impossible quests (such as to retrieve a vial of a demon lord’s tears, to command the tide to cease its churning, etc.). Should the questers be successful, Ywehbobbobhewy will richly reward them for their cunning.

Ywehbobbobhewy will only bless or curse a mortal being with a sacrifice that he deems worthy of such a request. Ywehbobbobhewy is most pleased with offerings of thoughtless thoughts and good intentions, but savors the flesh of priests of Churfaz the Maggot-King as the most delectable of offerings. Ywehbobbobhewy’s blessings act as a +3 bonus to all saving throws for a 24 hour period. His curses work as a -3 penalty to all saving throws for 48 hours.

The Dark Moon festival is held in Ywehbobbobhewy's honor every fourteenth year. Although outlawed in many kingdoms and empires, in rural villages the rites of male virgin sacrifice and blood debauchery are practiced on this darkest of nights. It is said that only on this night will Ywehbobbobhewy himself assume human form and walk among his worshipers, most often appearing as a one-eyed, lute-playing hunchbacked midget accompanied by a two-legged bald cat which rides on his shoulders. If he is attacked while in this form, he has the ability to cast any single Cleric spell, but his most favored are Quest, Symbol, and Destruction and the defender gets no save. The cat does not attack.

Ywehbobbobhewy Reaction Table (2d6)

2        Friendly: Will bless 1d6 targets without a proper sacrifice
3-5     Indifferent: Will bless 1d6 targets with proper sacrifice
6-8     Neutral: Will attempt to woo target with highest Charisma score
9-11   Unfriendly: Teleports 1d6 targets to middle of largest nearby body of water
12      Hostile: Casts Destruction on 1d6 targets