I finally compiled gorgonmilk'sd20 Table of Weird Drafts community project into a PDF. The project itself was finished back in January, but at some point, the big G switched to Wordpress from Blogger, then switched back and deleted the Wordpress site. I thought I had lost the entries that finished off the table, but I found the saved HTML file over the weekend. I finished this up last night after grading a stack of papers because I needed to clear my head.
Crafted by the elder wizard Gobodkin, this small copper ring is decoratively engraved with a garland of daisies. The ring is endowed with a mild dweomer which makes the wearer smell fresh and clean at all times, regardless of how filthy the wearer's clothing or personal hygiene. The ring will magically expand or contract to fit and can only be removed by writing the word "eateses" in dwarvish with the hand wearing the ring.
It was intended as a wedding gift for Gobodkin's niece Helma Samothracia upon her betrothal to Tros Pyratkin, Admiral of King Caswallon's fleet. Upon Helma's accidental death during an archery competition prior to the wedding ceremony, Gobodkin took to wearing the ring himself and ceased bathing altogether, many say because his grief was so great.
The ring was last seen in possession of his apprentice, Merwin the Magnanimous, to whom the ring passed upon Gobodkin's untimely death by troll-dust ingestion. Gobodkin's death was eventually ruled a murder by the Royal Investigators, and although Merwin was cleared as an official suspect (having been trapped in amber in a pocket universe at the time of Gobodkin's death), King Caswallon has his doubts about Merwin's innocence. Alas, Merwin lost the ring somewhere outside the thorp of Starkville in western Aesteros on one of his research journeys, and it has not been seen since.
I've been creatively drained this month, as teaching and essay grading have taken up most of my time.
But last night, during some down time, was purging old files on my hard drive and re-discovered the folder full of geomorphs from Risus Monkey and I was inspired. I pulled together the rough draft of this gonzo encounter in about two hours last night and spent about an hour tidying it up before sending it in to this year's One Page Dungeon Contest. You can download the PDF from my Dropbox by hitting the link below:
It looks terrible in the Dropbox viewer, so be sure to hit the download link on the page. It looks fine in Acrobat Reader, Preview, and Skim, so I'm thinking the problem is on Dropbox's conversion widget.
Maybe you remember this post way back here, where I said I was looking for back issues of the Campaign Builder's Guide? Well, I've found them.
I joined the forum over at thecbg.org, and posted a request for the files, and a user by the name of Túrin came through. So, without further ado, I give you the CBGuides! Also, this post marks a transition for my personal zine archives. I've figured out how to share directories of files via Dropbox, so future zine archives I create will be hosted via Dropbox for ease of management. Please consider joining Dropbox via my affiliate link over in the right column or email me for an invite. Right now Dropbox is running a new promotion which gives an extra 500MB of space to new users who sign up via an invite. This means you would get 2.5GB of space rather than the regular 2GB--and I get extra space for free for referring you. This way, I can keep these great resources online. If you’d like an invitation to Dropbox, send me an e-mail by clicking "view my complete profile" over on the left. If you’re reading in a reader, click on through to visit the blog.
4. A ceramic jar filled with 63 pickled eggs (and the pickling brine).
5. A fingerless four-fingered leather glove, left handed.
6. A pouch containing 181 pieces of shredded parchment. If pieced together (a task that might take many hours), the PC will be able to read the following message "Thanks for the lovely time last fortnight. Derf and I and I enjoyed our visit very much."
7. The right-hand pinky knucklebone of one of the party member's mother.
8. A child's drawing of a lich, rendered on birch bark with charcoal.
9. A small iron cross which smells strongly of mint.
10. A chainmail dog collar.
11. A simple iron helm, caved in on the left side.
12. A set of seven six-sided gambling dice made of bugbear shinbone. One of them rolls true. Usually at an inopportune moment.
13. 1 bunch of skinless grapes.
14. 1 bunch of grape skins.
15. 42 pairs of women's woolen socks, size small.
16. An iron ankle bracelet emblazoned with the sigil of a local deity.
17. 3 stalks of wheat.
18. 13 goblin ears on a wire chain.
19. A round, palm-sized, chalky-black stone that weighs approximately 2 pounds.
20. A ceramic pot of goat urine, sealed with wax.
21. A fist-sized hairball coughed up by a manticore.
The Deck of Not a Lot of Things is a rather pitiful magic item. It appears as a deck of playing cards consisting of two copies of each of the 9, 10, Jack, Queen, King, and Ace cards of four suits (Cups, Crowns, Staves, Anchors) and two Jokers, for 50 cards per deck. The cards themselves always show signs of age and neglect: some have bent corners, some have notes written on their backs, some are defaced with lewd doodles, etc. At least 2 cards are usually missing from every deck, and are replaced with non-magical cards from standard suits.
The character gaining The Deck of Not a Lot of Things may draw up to five cards, but must announce how many cards will be drawn prior to drawing the first card. As soon as one of the cards is drawn from the deck, its magic is bestowed upon the person who drew it, for better or worse.
The cards & their effects are as follows:
9 - Character gains a boat anchor.
10 - Character is teleported three feet to the left.
J - Character gains the ability to speak Common for 2d20 days.
Q - Every magic item the character owns is restored to like-new condition in terms of appearance (not ability). K - Character gains a 2-person rowboat (includes oars).
A - Character gains a parrot tattoo.
9 - Character gains an ordinary three-foot-long pole.
10 - Character is teleported three feet into the air. J - Character gains a wooden spoon +3.
Q - All non-magical light-bearing devices the character carries disappear. K - Two bards appear and follow the character for 3d20 days, making a record of the character's exploits in song. The bards sing off-key.
A - Character gains a set of thieves' tools.
Cups (red) 9 - Character gains an ordinary tin drinking cup.
10 - Character is teleported three feet to the right. J - Character loses the ability to speak Common for 2d20 days.
Q - Every magic item the character owns turns blue.
K - Character gains a flask of decent mead.
A - Any flask or wineskin the character owns disappears.
9 - Character must pay 30 gold pieces in taxes to the local authorities.
10 - Character is teleported three feet to the right of the local taxing authority.
J - Character gains a wanted poster with a badly drawn picture of him/herself on it. There is a 5,000gp reward for the character's corpse.
Q - Character must pay 30 gold pieces in taxes for every magic item the character owns.
K - Character gains 600 gold pieces. A - Character gains a child's drawing of a lich.
Character's clothing disappears then reappears turned inside out on the character (does not affect metal armor or footwear).
Upon drawing the last card in the deck, or immediately upon drawing the cards in bold face, the deck disappears.
Dropbox is running a new promotion, offering an extra 500MB of space to new users who sign up via an invite. This means new users would get 2.5GB of space rather than the regular 2GB--and the person sending the invite gets an extra 500MB, too. Since I use Dropbox to host many of the files linked to on this site, this is a win for everyone.
If you’d like an invitation to Dropbox, send me an e-mail by clicking "view my complete profile" over on the left. If you’re reading in a reader, click on through to visit the blog.
I'd really like to get as much free space as possible to I can consolidate the zine archives I've set up for many of the titles on the zine page. So, this is a win-win all the way around if you sign up via an invite.