Saturday, March 19, 2011

New Druid Spell: Donkey Punch

The following is declared Open Game Content:

New Druid Spell: Donkey Punch

Level: 6th
Components: V/S/M
Range: 8 feet
School: Alteration
AOE: 12 linear feet/level within a 4" radius
Save: None
Casting Time: 1 round
Duration: Semi-permanent (see below)

By means of this spell, a druid changes the bloodline of a hybrid creature into a full-blooded animal, for example, changing a mule to either a horse or a donkey.

When faced with a hybrid creature which the druid believes is an abomination against nature, a druid may cast this spell upon the animal to render it a full-blooded animal of either its paternal or maternal heritage. The druid must be able to physically see the animal he or she desires to change by non-magical means, and the druid must know the lineage of the animal (i.e., that a mule is the offspring of a mare and an ass). The druid must make his or her intention to change the animal known before casting this spell, and choose the lineage (the animal's paternal or maternal bloodline) to which the animal will be changed.

Animals affected are normal or giant-sized hybrid animals, such as mules, hinnys, zeedonks, ligers, tiglons, dzos, camas, wholphins, etc. The spell does not affect humans, elves, dwarves, gnomes, orcs, or other playable human or demi-human races, nor does it affect affect monsters, i.e, centaurs, harpies, griffons, manticores, etc., or magically created hybrid animals or monsters.

The druid may reverse this spell within one week by delivering a well-placed barehanded blow to the back of the animal's head. Only the casting druid may reverse this spell. If the spell is not reversed within one week, the spell becomes permanent.


NOTE: This came from this thread on Dragonsfoot.org. By way of explanation, I gave the spell a tongue-in-cheek name to point out 1) how ridiculous it is, 2) it really is a despicable act, and 3) it is taking advantage of an innocent victim. Seriously, donkey punches are a jackass move and anyone actually performing one deserves to have his crotch beaten to a bloody pulp with a lead pipe.