Wednesday, March 23, 2011

d30 Table: What's In That Hole?

The following is declared Open Game Content:

d30 Table: What's In That Hole?

There's a hole. It's not portable. What's in it?

1. Three feet of frayed rope.

2. A dozen hard boiled duck eggs.

3. A teeny-tiny Earth Elemental smoking a cigar.

4. Magical dirt.

5. A tub stopper. If pulled from the hole, the entire room begins to spin down the drain.

6. A pair of men's size 12 snowshoes.

7. A sack of sacking.

8. A kamikaze chicken.

9. A lute string and a roll of twine.

10. A shriveled lemon, a sealed vial of molasses, and half a loaf of moldy, stale bread.

11. Twenty-four bent and rusted iron spikes.

12. A pig skeleton.

13. Twelve singed harpy feathers.

14. A silver locket. Opening the locket reveals a tiny picture of one of the members of the party being beheaded by a yellow-draped, faceless figure wearing a crown of thorns.

15. A bag of lavender-scented bath salts.

16. A ham bone and a bag of dried beans.

17. Two inches of salt water and twenty seven dead slugs floating on the surface.

18. Nothing. Jumping in the hole teleports a PC ten feet behind the rest of the party, completely nude and missing all non-magical weapons & possessions. If/when the party goes back to town, they find all missing belongs for sale at steep markup at the local fence.

19. The melted remains of a shovel head.

20. The decaying remains of a Kobold's head. If Speak with Dead is cast, the Kobold will reveal nothing more than that his name was Fred and all he wanted was another piece of bacon. Placing a piece of raw or salted bacon inside the remains of Fred's head will make item #14 fall out of his eye socket.

21. A Gorgon's fingernail embedded in a shattered mirror.

22. Hundreds of thousands of tiny white pebbles. Three of them are pebbles +20 against Giants & Ents.

23. A tumbler of ale, sealed with wax, upon which is embossed the seal of the ruler of the kingdom.

24. A cute little baby Purple Worm. His name is Stanley. He wants his mommy. She's dead. He doesn't know.

25. An illuminated, leather-bound edition of Hemingway's The Old Man & The Sea printed on the finest vellum of the realm, translated into Orcish. There are lewd drawings and obscene marginalia on some of the pages.

26. Three wooden lug nuts.

27. A potato that resembles a local deity.

28. A palm-sized salt block, a child's copper ring, an ivory haircomb, and roll again on this table.

29. An oversized, one-clawed, normal crab waving a cleaver.

30. Two hundred feet of finely spun sheep's wool that smells like asparagus-infused urine.