Sunday, March 27, 2011

d30 Table: What's in the Closet?

The following is declared Open Game Content:

d30 Table: What's in the Closet?

The hardy adventurers have cleared the room. But there's that closet over there. Maybe the door is locked, maybe it isn't. A listening check reveals no sounds emanating from behind the door. So, what's inside?

1. 300 pairs of women's footwear in assorted styles and sizes.

2. What appears to be the bones of 100 separate skeletons, disassembled. If the PCs pick up even one bone, all 100 skeletons will automatically assemble into a single huge bone skeleton which will challenge the PCs to a game of checkers.

3. An extremely hungry honey badger.

4. A brick wall. Taking out 1d8 bricks allows the PCs to peer behind the wall, where they will find a cask of sweet wine and the skeletal remains of a harlequin (the skeleton is not animated).

5. A small box covered in pale pink leather. The box will give off a pale purple glow if Detect Evil or Detect Magic is cast. The leather is made from human skin. Inside the box is a red armband with an ancient occult symbol embroidered in black. Anyone who puts on the armband will experience an immediate, permanent alignment change. There is no save. Roll 1d4: 1-2 = alignment change to Chaotic Evil; 3-4 alignment change to Lawful Evil. Characters already of evil alignment will instead be transported to the nearest Cult of Orcus, chained to the altar during the middle of a sacrificial rite.

6. A bundle of lavender branches.

7. A Helm of Everseeing.

8. A goat, a cucumber, six goblins, and a flask of lamp oil.

9. A one-eared black cat. The cat is wearing a white collar studded with emeralds. If the PCs attempt to catch the cat by force, the cat will shapeshift into a 15th level Witch and start casting spells. If the PCs treat the cat nicely, it will cough up a hairball the size of a halfling's fist. Inside the hairball is a Ring of Protection from Evil.

10. A monkey playing the bagpipes. The entire inside of the closet, including the backside of the door, is soundproofed with a three-inch-thick layer of cork.

11. The closet is packed floor to ceiling with ancient tomes. There is a 1 in 20 chance that one of them is the spellbook of Bartleby de Scrivenaire, founder of the School of Slack Magic. The pages are all blank.

12. A wind cougar.

13. Appears to be empty. Stepping into the closet teleports the PC off map to a 5x5 windowless room filled three feet deep with human waste. Flame-based light sources have a 50% chance of igniting the room in a roaring fireball due to methane build-up. Protruding from the ceiling are two metal, T-shaped bars. Pulling on one bar teleports the PC back to the closet. Pulling on the other makes the waste in the room begin to drain out of the room (there's a 6-inch drain in the floor). Pulling on both bars at the same time makes the walls begin to move in at the rate of one foot per minute, causing the depth of the waste to rise if it has not yet drained. Once the walls meet, they move back to their original position.

14. The remains of a fire. In the ash are a granite spearhead and a handful of flint flakes.

15. Two mage robes, one in bright purple, the other in a hideous yellow. Putting on the purple robe makes a PC shrink to the size of a halfling. Putting on the yellow robe makes the PC grow to the size of a troll. The effect wears off after 1 round. If the robes are taken out of the room where the closet is located, they immediately burst into flame, leaving only ashes behind.

16. A tin can with the words "CAN OF SNAKES" written on the label. The can is empty. However, every 6 hours for 6 days, a common garter snake crawls out of the owner's pack. On the seventh day, the can's label changes to read "CAN OF BUGBEARS".

17. An incredibly inaccurate map wrongly detailing the challenges the adventurers will soon face.

18. A very uncomfortable Fire Giant contortionist.

19. A hungry grue.

20. A bay unicorn gelding.

21. A holy symbol of the deity of good vandalized with a Symbol of Pain. Anyone touching the item must make a Save vs. Paralysis or suffer 1d6 permanent reduction to WIS.

22. Sir Bob Geldof. Same stats as a ghoul if shaven, as wraith if not.

23. The entire closet seems filled with a gelatinous cube. It's just green, lime-flavored gelatin with chunks of elf floating in it.

24. A scroll of paper (think size of a roll in a paper plant). Anyone touching it must Save vs. Disease or take 1d12 damage due to a massive paper cut.

25. 1,000 rabid rats.

26. A rabbit and a top hat. The top hat is made of the finest silk, but is non-magical. There's a 25% chance the rabbit is a phase rabbit.

27. What appears to be a normal human eyeball. Anyone picking it up must make a Save vs. Spells or be struck by a Stinking Cloud.

28. A wooden cane concealing a sword -2 disguised as a sword +1 disguised as a sword +2.

29. Nothing.

30. #25, #20, #15, #10, & #5.