Monday, March 21, 2011

d30 Table of Close Combat Concentration Breakers

The following is declared Open Game Content:

d30 Table of Close Combat Concentration Breakers

Sometimes in combat, you get distracted. Here’s why.

1. Tunic bursts into flame for no apparent reason.

2. Water flask pops open, leaks all over floor.

3. Scabbard loosens, clatters to floor.

4. Loose footgear causes a stumble.

5. Coiled rope unspools, tangles feet.

6. Opponent farts a horrible, gut-clenching fart of death (Save vs. Poison or suffer -1 to hit for duration of fight).

7. Dude wearing nothing but a monocle runs behind opponent.

8. Opponent drops weapon, asks for a do-over, attempts to walk through moves from beginning of fight to moment weapon was dropped.

9. Opponent drops weapon, pulls out a frying pan and continues trying to fight (frying pan treated as flail -1).

10. Opponent’s mother appears, grabs opponent by ear and drags opponent off, never to be seen again (award 1/2 XP).

11. PC notices opponent has a tattoo of PC’s relative on neck.

12. PC notices opponent’s tattoo looks like kinda like a duck, but isn’t a duck.

13. Wine flask pops open, opponent points out it’s a waste of good wine.

14. Six gnomes pop out of dimension door, grab all the rations the PC’s opponent is carrying, and then jump back in the dimension door before it closes.

15. A dog wanders in and takes a squat near the edge of the combat area.

16. Two drunken drow wander in and start making wagers on the fight.

17. A three-foot-long arrow falls from the ceiling/sky, narrowly missing the combatants.

18. A gnoll wanders in, bleeding profusely from its stomach, yowling in pain.

19. The PC’s opponent asks if they can pause for lunch, and if the PC agrees, the opponent offers the PC half of a really good sandwich. If the PC accepts and eats it, the PC gains +1 to hit for the rest of the fight.

20. Roll on Adam Thorton's Wandering Harlot Table (download here or see Fight On! Issue 7). The resultant wandering harlot attempts to persuade the combatants to help the Harlot Guild attract more members.

21. Opponent asks if the PC pronounces melee as “may-lay,” “me-lay,” “me-lee,” or “may-lee”.

22. Opponent declares the PC can’t handle the truth, and then begins to discuss his/her (the opponent’s) mating rituals in exacting detail while continuing to fight.

23. Hand cramp. A really bad one, too.

24. Opponent starts humming “The Green Hills of Oerth” and now the PC can’t get that damn tune out of his/her head.

25. Earthquake! Huge cracks open in the ground, Orcus pokes out his head, ducks back down and disappears.

26. A chain mail bikini falls out of the opponent’s pack.

27. The opponent yells out “Help Mr. Wizard!” and instantly disappears, never to be see again (award 1/4 XP).

28. The PC slips in a pool of what appears to be blood, but is really sphinx snot (Save vs. Poison or suffer -1 to hit for duration of fight).

29. Hangnail.

30. A hobgoblin, a penguin, and a stable boy walk by, each holding a shot glass of some amber-colored liquid and an unlit candle. The stable boy is also leading a small goat carrying a basket of cucumbers and sourdough bread.


Jeff Rients said...

So FYI this table is totally sweet.

Matthew W. Schmeer said...

Thanks! I aim to please (well, I aim to hit, but I'm often distracted . . .)

The Jovial Priest said...

Very funny

Word verification - unhaper
No it wasn't that, it made me happy!