Tuesday, March 22, 2011

d12 Tables of Funky Smells

The following is declared Open Game Content:

d12 Tables of Funky Smells

The adventurers open the door and the stench of . . . something . . . smacks them in the face.

Roll 3d12 and pick one from each table:

Table 1: Creature
1. Badger
2. Mammoth
3. Gnoll
4. Orc
5. Camel
6. Spider
7. Goblin
8. Owlbear
9. Wererat
10. Dryad
11. Xvart
12. Gnome

Table 2: Body Fluid
1. Piss
2. Vomit
3. Bile
4. Blood
5. Snot
6. Spunk
7. Pus
8. Sweat
9. Dung
10. Phlegm
11. Smegma
12. Toe Jam

Table 3: With a hint of . . .
1. Mint
2. Lime
3. Peaches
4. Gooseberries
5. Mistletoe
6. Crabapples
7. Cinnamon
8. Orange
9. Black Currant
10. Cranberry
11. Anise (Licorice)
12. Horseradish

My favorite rolls on this table during testing:
Mammoth phelgm with a hint of mint.
Wererat bile with a hint of lime.
Spider vomit with a hint of crabapples.
Owlbear smegma with a hint of gooseberries.
Xvart toe jam with a hint of horseradish.
Gnome pus with a hint of orange.


Jeff Rients said...

I like it! I often try to mix something horrible and something pleasant when describing new smells to players.

Greg Gorgonmilk said...

I like how the tastefulness of the last category contrasts with the obscene combinations above it. Are you considering compiling a book of tables?

Matthew W. Schmeer said...

@ Jeff: Thanks!

@ Greg: Thanks, and no, I'm not going to compile a book of tables of my own. But I might submit these tables to another project.