Tuesday, May 6, 2014

1d30 Slightly Useless Spell Scrolls

1d30 Slightly Useless Spell Scrolls Found in the Archives of Wälläkatüntün


01. Break Wind: cures flatulence in 10ft radius.

02. Kitten Cuddle: summons 1d30 cute, cuddly kittens.

03. Wash Wizard: thoroughly cleans and deodorizes 1 wizard.

04. Undo Toe Stub: self-explanatory.

05. Wang Dang Doodle: allows caster to dance all night long without tiring.

06. Flim Flam: grants ability to convincingly lie with 100% undetectability, but only to people named "Flam".

07. Hoboken Chicken: summons 1 266-pound friendly chicken.

08. Capture Flag: captures 1 random flag.

09. Uncrease Cloth: removes creases from 1sq ft of non-magical cloth.

10. Cure Hiccups: self-explanatory.

11. Uncook Beans: self-explanatory.

12. Nit Pick: removes head lice from 1d4 humanoids in 10ft radius.

13. Hen Peck: allows caster to berate 1d4 humanoids in 10ft radius.

14. Double Bag of Holding: places all Bags of Holding within another non-magical bag.

15. Scramble Eggs: randomly reorganizes 1d20 eggs in a nest.

16. Summon Waiter: self-explanatory. Only works at three-star or better inns and taverns.

17. Clerical Error: forces 1d4 clerics within 10ft radius to mispronounce a word in their evening prayers.

18. Foshizzle: makes any caster with a lisp spit non-incendiary sparks when he speaks.

19. Hamper: conjures up a wicker clothes hamper that can hold 2 bushels worth of dirty clothes.

20. Revise: places any item taken out of a vise back into a vise.

21. Bladderize: makes 1d4 humanoids within a 10ft radius really, really, really need to pee.

22. Spell Check: engraves the word "CHECK" on any flat surface.

23. Hoppity Doodle: summons 1d30 rot-worm infested rabbits.

24. Nerf Herd: summons 1d30 herd of non-projectile bearing nerfs.

25. WTF: creates a 10ft radius logic-free zone emanating from caster.

26. Clear Conscience: grants caster a good feeling about himself for 1d4 hours.

27. Whoaboy: stops pack animals from moving for 1d6 minutes.

28. Flibbertigidget: summons 1 boy-crazy teenage girl surfer who immediately bursts into tears and runs away.

30. Screweit: magically impregnates up to 1d4 male sheep.

2 comments:

lars_alexander said...

These are awesome! Cuddly kittens :)

mwschmeer said...

@lars: Why yes, yes they are. Thank you!

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